S
Dedicated June 2021

Maybe i am taking what was said wrong??

Stephanie, on April 26, 2021 at 5:14 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 11
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Soo long story short we had to adjust our menu somewhat when family who said they plan yo attend decided not to attend. They told his mom not us and we found out by just chit-chat thinking we knew.

It was to late to change venue due to 8 weeks out approx. We would lose the money. So venue offered us other options to add.
We chose appetizers and additional sweets and special drink.His step mom told me the other day when i said we had been offered a extra night stay she take tue room ifbwe didnt want it. 馃え wait what?? She wanted our room. Then said since its a small wedding we should of gotten a sheet cake and left it that. We didnt need a photographer we could just taken some photos.To then ask since its destination wedding do we wish we would of just had it in town instead? She is bothered by the fact she cant fly at the time , day and airline she wants with out it being pricey. She wont rent a car and is complaining she has to find a way to get from Orlando to our location 1 hr away. The hotel she chose is sketchy but close and they dont want to drive far from the venue.Is it me or does she sound kind negative and spiteful its not around her confidence. She said we may fly in the day before and the morning after the wedding. Its been being planned for 1 yr she should of planned sooner. Am i taking this all wrong? Fianc茅 doesnt know she said this to me. Ig being a second marriage she feels we dont need this? Idk

11 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on April 27, 2021 at 12:53 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah
    • Flag
    I think it鈥檚 weird that she鈥檚 bringing all these things up to you without your FH present and she should just keep her complaints to herself, but I don鈥檛 think anything she鈥檚 saying sounds spiteful. Why do you care when they fly?
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy
    • Flag

    Sounds like she is being pretty selfish. You don't have to cater to anyone but you and FH. This is YOUR wedding, not hers or anyone else's. Stick to what you have planned, and don't let anyone tell you that you're doing it wrong.

    One of the best ways to get family/friends to stop commenting on your choices is to STOP sharing the details. They can't complain about what they don't know about!

    Good luck, and happy planning!! You're almost there!!

    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated June 2021
    Stephanie
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    I don't i am just tired of her complaining to me its not date time and location. Whatever works for her is great
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  • S
    Dedicated June 2021
    Stephanie
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    Yeah i see that lol. She asked what is going on since rhey spent the winter in Arizona and we live in Iowa. We had not seen them since December and she wanted to catch up. Seems she wanted to cut stuff down more so now. The kicker is they cant drive to Arizona but they cant rent a car to drive 1 hr and 15 min to city of the wedding and want to be picked up. Mind blowing to me
    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy
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    Ok, I get wanting to catch up. But that doesn't entitle her or anyone else to dictate your choices for your wedding.

    It's also not your responsibility to figure out her transportation to/from the wedding. If she really wants to be there, she'll figure it out. Don't let her attitude bring you down. You're so close now, just focus on you and FH.

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  • S
    Dedicated June 2021
    Stephanie
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    Thanks and good idea. It was driving me nuts she only will fly Tuesday during the day from 2 specific airports we have 5 around us farthest 1 us 3hrs. She wont park and fly her car. She will only travel back the day after during the day. I thought awful picky when u decide to look for airfare 50 days prior to the wedding. I gave up said good luck and just let us know when u get to your hotel lol. Why i should only have a sheet cake for a wedding cake seems rude who cares if its 20 people. Its like i dont deserve more traditional stuff because its a second wedding or we dont have alot of people.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy
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    Yeah the size of your wedding should have no effect on what traditions you have. All of those decisions are yours and FHs to make based on what you want and what you can afford. She is a grown ass woman. If she can't figure it out, oh well! You can't make it your problem. You have more important details to see to. It's so hard when family members try to make it all about them. Don't let it upset you.
    This will be my FHs 3rd wedding. My first, so he wants me to have everything I want. But he deserves to get what he wants too. It doesn't matter that he's been married before.
    1st, 2nd or 14th wedding doesn't matter. It's all about your love and marriage to FH.
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated June 2021
    Stephanie
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    Thank you 馃槉 its really annoying. I dont get it she has never acted this way toward me. Im not sure what brought this on. When she suggested and asked if I regret a destination wedding i felt it was rude. If my fiance knew all she said id guess he be mad.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy
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    Since you say she doesn't normally act this way, I'm guessing it's one of those weird phenomena I've seen around weddings. Maybe she didn't get to have the wedding of her dreams, so she's trying to relive it through you. I've been on these forums for a few years now, and I've seen this a lot. Weddings sometimes bring out the worst in people!! You'd think it would be the opposite, but no. What she said/suggested about a destination wedding is rude!! It's none of her business, first of all. And second, why would anyone want their family member to feel bad about their decisions? She sounds like a spoiled, entitled pain in the a$$.

    Hopefully, you can limit contact with her in the time you have left before the wedding. If she doesn't like the arrangements, she doesn't have to come.

    Oh, and it sounds like you've kept some of this from FH. I get you not wanting to upset him, but this is his stepmom, right? He should know everything, and because she's on his side, he should be the one to deal with her directly from here on out. You shouldn't have to put up with this kind of thing from anyone, but especially someone who you're not even related to!

    Good luck. I hope things get better for you.

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  • S
    Dedicated June 2021
    Stephanie
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    Yeah im going to tell him tonight what was said. Since she did this and more or less did it when he wasn't in a ears shot to hear it all.
    She really is acting like we shouldnt be doing things this way because its inconvenient for her. She doesnt have to come. She said we should just get married her so its done snd then fly down and go thru the motions there. Why would i do that.
    She is way to much maintenance for me. When my FH finds out ohhh man. He will be pissed. Thanks glad its not me
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie
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    I agree with this. I also want to add that it doesn't matter how many times you have been married. You are still allowed to have the wedding you want and it's nobody else's business especially if they aren't helping pay.
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