Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Hollis
Just Said Yes January 2022

Matron of Honor/maid of Honor

Hollis, on December 17, 2020 at 9:56 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

I have 2 very close friends who I would like to ask to be my maids of honor. However, one is divorced and the other is married. I know that the rule of thumb is the one who is married is the matron of honor and the other title is reserved for one who has never been married. Should I ask the one who is divorced to be my maid of honor since she technically isn't married or just call them both my maid of honor?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Kayse, on December 17, 2020 at 5:21 PM
  • Lisa
    Legend July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I believe if they've ever been married (even if they currently aren't married anymore), the correct term is Matron Of Honor. I would ask them both to be Matrons Of Honor.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My best friend was divorced and we are calling her the Maid of Honor. Technically she should be a matron of honor, but she felt better being called a maid of honor so that’s what we are going with. I personally don’t think it matters too much, nobody is going to call her out on it because that would just be rude, but I wanted her to be comfortable with her title!
    • Reply
  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Allie's suggestion is great! While she technically should be called a 'matron of honor', it's perfectly fine to make her a 'maid of honor'. Asking her what title she feels the most comfortable with is a nice gesture as well! Again, like Allie mentioned, I wouldn't suspect/expect anyone to call you or her out on it.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Legend July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I also agree with Allie - I don't think anyone will really even notice if you use the "wrong" titles.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Technically anyone who has been married, even if they are divorced or widowed, is a matron. If she would prefer to be called a maid, I don’t see why anyone else would care.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would just ask her what she'd rather be called. Divorce can be a touchy subject and calling her "matron" due to technicality highlights the fact that she was previously married. If I were in her position I'd prefer to be called "maid" for this reason. I would recommend asking her what her preference is!

    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Both would be Matrons of Honor. People who know someone is or was married, but was named as maid, pretty much think the MOH and bride are ignorant and got it wrong. If you do not like the titles Maid and Matron (and matron makes me think of institutions like prisons and orphanages, where it is used) it is also correct to refer to both as Honor Attendants.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with this! It's best for you to ask her what title she feels most comfortable with.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with just asking her. Your relationship with her is what is important, not the title. None of your wedding guests will think twice about what the people standing up with you are called.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I agree with Maggie- that would be quite comical if somebody stood up in the middle of the ceremony & screamed “she’s NOT A MAID OF HONOR! For shame!”
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    The divorced lady would be maid of honor and married would be matron. Most people will not care and there's a high chance that your guests aren't aware of her marital status outside of the programs to comment either way.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I was already married when I was my sister's "maid of honor". I don't care for "matron" or titles that change with a woman's marital status (men don't have to deal with that, after all). I simply didn't worry what anyone else thought, even if my sister's guests thought we were "pretty much ignorant". Smiley tongue

    • Reply
  • Hollis
    Just Said Yes January 2022
    Hollis ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    HAHAHA yeah I highly doubt that would happen!

    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'd go with maid of honor for both. It's semantics really, and reminding her that she's divorced is not that nice, ya know?

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics