Matron of Honor

I wouldn’t change my date for her birthday. That’s ridiculous. If she would really drop out because it’s her birthday you’re dodging a bullet because she wasn’t the right choice for MOH

I wouldn’t move my date for someone’s birthday either, nor would I ever ask someone to accommodate my birthday. If she feels this strongly about her birthday and not wanting to attend, then maybe she wasn’t the right choice. I know every one of my girls would still be there birthday or not (even if it was a milestone birthday).

Don't change it for her birthday. H was best man in a wedding that was on his birthday. It was not a big deal at all.

Don’t change your date just because she wouldn’t be able to attend. Some people are very serious about Birthday being only about them so just move on if you have a friend who is not willing to sacrifice few hours out their day to celebrate a new chapter in your life.

I personally wouldn’t change my date to accommodate her birthday, but also wouldn’t harbor any ill feelings if she chooses not to participate.

She can’t celebrate her birthday another night? Our wedding date is on our friends birthday and she is super pumped about it! She said she’ll never forget our anniversary . She’s not in our wedding party, however my super close friends in my wedding party- especially my MOH would also be happy. It’s just more reason to celebrate, and she can totally do a birthday dinner another night or something. Your friend is being ridiculous.

I get if it was the only option, but think of what this will mean for your friendship, forever. This isn’t just about one birthday, but that every single year on her birthday, for the milestone birthdays, for the unimportant birthdays, you will have an anniversary to celebrate. Birthdays are wonderful because it’s one day a year that family and friends get to celebrate someone and make the day about them. But now that can’t happen.

I know that this post is dramatic - but perhaps these are some of the things running through her mind and that’s why she’s upset. I think it’s too late to change the date again and I wouldn’t want to either, but maybe talk to her about her feelings and reassure her that you will be a good friend and celebrate her in future birthdays.

How old is your maid of honor? Eight? Nine? Cause that is how she is acting. Don't change your wedding for her.

I see it as an easy way of remembering your anniversary! Plus, she'll still get cake and you can always hold a party for her the weekend before or after. People tend to not care about birthdays after they hit 21 anyway, so I don't get the big deal. If she's worried about celebrating in the future, there's always ways around it (such as celebrating on a different day?) whether it's you or her making a small change in celebration.

I’d be annoyed if my BFF got married on my bday too, essentially my day becomes hers because she’s the bride but I’d only be annoyed for a bit and then jump back into helping her. As a bride, I would try to
make the day special for her too. Send her flowers right after the wedding, maybe send her a
bottle of wine or champagne to her room when she wakes up on the morning of your wedding.

She needs to grow up. It won't matter this year or any other year, milestone birthdays included. There are plenty of people who, because of reasons like shift work, never get to celebrate their birthday or any other special day on the actual date.

Anniversaries in my crowd are between the couple, so there's no way that the two of you going out to dinner on your anniversary is going to interfere with her celebration of her birthday.

Apparently I’m the outlier here. I wouldn’t move the wedding date to my MOH’s birthday. You moved your wedding date due to scheduling conflicts, but didn’t take into account the birthdays of your closest friend. I needed to move my wedding back two weeks and it was going to fall the day before my MOH’s anniversary. I made a point to confirm that it wouldn’t be an issue with her before I booked the reception.

Maybe she isn't hype on sharing her bday with your anniversary? Personally do not see the big deal, but I would prob also try to avoid bdays as my wedding day. But that's just me not wanting to share my anniversary with the bday of someone close to me. JMO.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree with you. I would try to avoid sharing my anniversary with birthdays, other anniversaries, holidays etc...I understand it may not always be able to be avoided, but I certainly try. Especially someone close enough to be my MOH.

Who cares. I would be excited for friends if they decided to get married on my birthday! One of FH groomsmen just got engaged and they are looking at what will be our first anniversary for their wedding date and I think it will be so cool!

She’s being a spoiled brat. My cousins birthday is on my wedding day. He won’t get to celebrate with his gf because she can’t attend, but he understands. Why do people freak out over birthdays after 21? She’s being ridiculous.

Um...sorry, this is ridiculous. If your friend is up in arms about your wedding being on her birthday I would cut her loose. Her loss. Does she expect the world to stop for her birthday? I mean, really. If that's such a big deal to her then she isn't really a good friend. You (hopefully) get many birthdays - a wedding is a once in a lifetime thing. If she can't support you, BYE.

Don't move it for her birthday. I can't think of a better way to celebrate a bday then a friend's wedding.

I actually had a similar situation. One of my bridesmaids birthdays is on the date picked for the bridal party/bachelorette party weekend. My sister (maid of honor) picked the date because it worked with all the other girls schedules or they could request off the day. I told her she could feel free to come or stay home and do other things, that there were no hard feelings. She was still pretty upset and told me I was being inconsiderate but as all of the girls have an annual time of request and that had already passed we were stuck with the date.

I do not find it inconsiderate to have wedding on someone's bday. I wouldn't be offended or anything, just personally would try to avoid, for myself. If this is the next available date for your wedding, I certainly would not be configuring a later date, or a different venue, to suit anyone's bday. It is was it is. People either move past it, or do not participate. Maybe just ask her why she's even bothered by it? And if it's selfish reasons, then that would be my answer of how to proceed.