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Dedicated December 2019

Matron of Honor Zilla

DIY Bride, on November 21, 2019 at 4:47 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13

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So, I have only asked my sister and my 6 year old niece and nephew to be in the wedding party. My brother in law will do a reading during the ceremony. My FH has 8 groomsmen which is fine with me. Anyway, my sister is an attention hog and she will do anything to make things about her. I had planned to pay for my mom, my sister, and my niece to have their hair and makeup done at the salon that I go to the morning of the wedding. They do not do airbrushed makeup, but they did a great job on the makeup for my engagement photos and it is very close to my house. So I texted my sister today asking if she and my niece were coming because the salon needs a count. Well she is insisted that she needs airbrushed makeup (because it looks so much better). So I told her she could go wherever she wants, but I am NOT paying for it. I also told her that her and my niece and nephew need to be at my house at 11:00 that day for getting ready photos. Well she is keeps asking what about her husband (being in photos) and why can't she just go to the church? My other worry is that she will get all done up and will try to top the way that I look on the day of the wedding. What do I do, I have tried to talk to her, but she doesn't listen or care? I will have her wash her makeup off or take out her hair the morning of the wedding if she comes in with sparkles on her face or a tiara in her hair, that is if she even shows up at my house on time... I just really don't want to be stressed on the wedding day, but I'm feeling like I may lose it on her on the wedding day or before.

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Suzanne, on November 25, 2019 at 2:37 PM

Expert September 2020
Marcia · on November 21, 2019 at 4:58 PM
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Do yourself a favor and demote her to guest.
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Beginner November 2020
Diane · on November 21, 2019 at 5:02 PM
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I agree with Marcia. It's your special day and NO ONE can ruin it. Sister or not!
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Expert October 2021
Vannesa · on November 21, 2019 at 5:02 PM
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Agreed with Marcia. She shouldn't be trying to outshine you this is your day not hers.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on November 21, 2019 at 5:04 PM
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I don’t think that wanting airbrush makeup or photos with her husband is a good enough reason to kick your sister out of your wedding and permanently damage your relationship. I truly don’t see the problem with her wanting airbrush makeup. She’s allowed to have preferences and at the end of the day, it’s saving you money. Being worried that your sister will outshine you on your wedding day sounds like a bit of insecurity. People are allowed to wear glitter, it’s not the end of the world and isn’t stereotypically “bridal” anyway. I can see how a tiara would be over the top, but she hasn’t even mentioned it and you’re making a big deal out of hypothetical situations. As far as getting ready photos, just say “I’m sorry, xxx can be in family photos, but getting ready photos will be wedding party only.”
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on November 21, 2019 at 5:07 PM
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I agree with this. To add, you say in your post that she’s an attention hog. You can’t be mad when people behave like they’ve always behaved. You getting married doesn’t change who your sister is. Obviously she shouldn’t wear a tiara (has she even said anything about that) but also no one is going to outshine you because you’re the one people are coming to see get married.
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Expert February 2020
Sara · on November 21, 2019 at 5:27 PM
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I agree with caytlyn and Sarah.

I would also like to add..even if she wears a tiara..so what? She will look silly for trying too hard and you will still be the center of attention with your FH because it's your wedding not hers.
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Lady · on November 21, 2019 at 5:31 PM
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I agree with Caytlyn and Sarah and dont' have a ton more to add. I think you're making a big deal out of a hypothetical situation.
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VIP October 2020
Taylor · on November 22, 2019 at 11:16 AM
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This^. I completely get being anxious about how she could act if she has a history of it but at the end of the day, it's your wedding and everyone knows who the bride is. Her trying to steal your thunder will reflect poorly on her. As Caytlyn said above, kindly tell her that her husband is welcome to join in on the family photos.
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on November 22, 2019 at 11:52 AM
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I agree with all three of these ladies! I understand the anxiety and the dress but I think you’re overthinking a hypothetical situation.
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Dedicated December 2019
DIY Bride · on November 25, 2019 at 1:17 PM
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My sister has said that she is wearing a tiara for the wedding, so I'm not just worrying about it. I have told her and my mother has told her that she is not to wear anything in her hair. She has also not responded to my text about her needing to be at my house by 11:00 am on the day of the wedding for getting ready pictures (she expects the 1:30 start time at the church to apply to her). So if she doesn't show up at my house for getting ready photos, she will not be walking down the isle on the day of my wedding or standing up there with me, she will be demoted to guest!
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Dedicated December 2019
DIY Bride · on November 25, 2019 at 1:33 PM
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Unfortunately my sister has always had to be the center of attention, it has been that way for my entire life. Its sad that on my wedding day she will try to steal my thunder, but for once I'm not going to let that happen!
The day of my bridal shower her children were taking cards off gifts and opening boxes before I could even get to them. I don't mind them helping me, but after the shower I had to figure out who gave me what because my sister wasn't even keeping track.
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on November 25, 2019 at 1:35 PM
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Wow okay. That last part is pretty horrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you!
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Dedicated July 2021
Suzanne · on November 25, 2019 at 2:37 PM
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I recently used my brother's wedding as an excuse to take nice pictures with my fiance during the cocktail hour. We were both dressed up and my hair and makeup were done since I was a bridesmaid. I don't think our few side pictures took away from the wedding experience, but I appreciated the opportunity for updated nice pictures together. Perhaps your sister is a little side-tracked thinking about family portraits or Christmas card photos. I think engaging in conversation is best to figure out her intent and her most likely actions the day of the wedding. Once you find out your motive, you can decide the best course of action.
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