Matron of honor trouble

A MOH is not responsible for wedding planning. If she offers, that's great. But if not, she's not in the wrong for that. The only people responsible for planning the wedding are the bride and groom. As long as the MOH is willing to stand by the bride in the requested attire on the day of the wedding, that MOH has fulfilled her duties. Anything else a MOH decides to do is simply out of generosity.

I would ask her out right if there's something going on. I'm a straight forward person and deal with things head on. As adults there doesn't need to be games played.

I will say that it is not up to the bridal party to plan. I will say usually the MOH with the other bridal party members will plan the shower or bachelorette. If she is not responding to wedding questions it may not mean she does not support the wedding but I agree to sit and have a talk to her and just ask is everything and is there a reason she is not responding to your texts. If you do have certain expectations you would like her to be there for (dress shopping, attendance at events...) then maybe let her know how important it is for her to be there. Caution saying that she is not supporting you because she may take offense. Good luck.

Reevaluate your expectations.

It is no one's responsibility besides you and your FS to plan your wedding.

I think it’s sweet of you to want to involve her in the planning but it’s not the responsibility of the wedding party to plan the wedding.


If it really bothers you, just ask her bluntly.

Remember that you’re older now, and that usually means you have less personal time to help your bestie plan her wedding. She may be busy with kids, work, or other stuff going on at home. It’s not going to be the same as your first marriage, nor should it be. As long as she’s happy for you and supportive of the marriage, you may have to accept she just doesn’t have time like she did before. I can understand that may be disappointing, but it’s reality. People don’t always treat second weddings the same, even if your first didn’t end by choice. I suggest if you want her more involved, ask if she has the time or if she wants to help with anything specific. If there’s something you want her to help with, such as bridesmaid dresses, ask if she has a good time to look dresses or whatever it is you want.

I agree with PPs that she might simply be busy. I would check in on her as a friend to see if anything is going on you might not know about. It's possible she's going through a difficult time

I agree that it’s no one’s job but the couple’s to plan the wedding. Opinions and such are fine, but the MOH May be busy with her own life and family. I would also sit her down and ask what the problem is, and take her at he word if she says there isn’t one.

Supportive =/= helping to plan the wedding.

Your MOH should be supportive of you. If they're this "checked out", then it might be worth it to have a sit-down with them. Nothing accusatory, just let them know how you feel ("I feel that you're not all that invest in my wedding, and it hurts because you're my best friend").

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I agree with amber.

If said bride would like the MOH to be more involved she could ask for assistance but its not mandatory.