Matron of Honor Conundrum

If you already have a maid of honor, you don’t really have to have a matron of honor as well. What if you asked both of them to be bridesmaids? That way they’re included and you don’t have to choose. If you have your heart set on one of them being your matron of honor, I’d choose the person you feel you are closest with and who you believe will more likely be in your life long-term. There is no wrong answer, even if you haven’t known one of them as long.

I’ve heard of people doing two! Honestly from my advice, I was in the same boat as you but now the friend that I met more recently isn’t as close, so I’m glad I only asked my lifelong best friend that I’ve known longer!

I’ve heard of people doing two! Honestly from my advice, I was in the same boat as you but now the friend that I met more recently isn’t as close, so I’m glad I only asked my lifelong best friend that I’ve known longer!

I had two maids of honor. Don’t see why you can’t have multiple of them or just make everyone a bridesmaid without title of MOH

You say the contact has been intermittent over the past few years, but what has the depth of that contact and relationship been in that time. For my MOH she and I met on missions in high school but lived across country from each other for the next 15 years, she and her sister just moved to an 8hr drive from me, but I consider Jocelyn to be my absolute best friend aside from my FH. We may not talk but every few months but when we do we share everything! Now one of my other bridesmaid, she & I have been friends since 6th grade and there was a time I considered her my best friend. She’s still locationally close and we lived together for a year after college, but when she got married a few years ago I was not her choice for MOH and it hurt enough that I only chose to have a Maid of Honor and not a Matron of Honor as well. My third bridesmaid is my cousin whom I’ve mentored for the past seven years and she just graduated high school. None of my story probably really helped you decide, but just because she’s far away doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not as close to her, but also just because she’s been your friend longer doesn’t mean she should be the honored MOH.
If you’re that torn over choosing between the two and also that set on not having 4 attendees, then I would just chose your sisters. You can definitely still invite both ladies as guests and even still invite them to the rehearsal dinner for a little more time with them.

It's cliche, but true friends don't have to speak or visit often to always have your back or be close at heart. My MoH had been my friend since we were 12, so 24 years. We lived far apart for our college years and 5 years of adult life, and neither of us enjoy talking on the phone, so we've only seen eachother maybe 5 times in the last 3 years and only spoken or text eachother a handful of times in the same 3 years.


At the end of the day, it's completely up to you. You can have them both in the wedding, you can choose between them, you can give neither or both of them the title. Go with your gut. 🌻

I'm not doing a MOH for multiple reasons and it hasn't been an issue. If you already have one MOH, you really don't need another one, so if it's too complicated, just have them both as bridesmaids and don't worry about naming another MOH.

I'd probably be more hesitant to choose someone you haven't known a full year. I like the idea of naming them both bridesmaids.

If it were me I would just ask both to be BMs. If you really want them both to be in the bridal party I don’t think you need to decide between them. I definitely don’t think you need to give them a title beyond BM if you’re conflicted about it.

If you already have a maid of honor, I would just have them both as bridesmaids.

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I agree. I don't think you need to have a maid of honor and a matron of honor. I would just ask one or both of them to be bridesmaids.

I say make both of them bridesmaids that way they are both in the wedding.