Matron and maid of honor

I guess I didn't realize there was a difference! I have to MOH's and, while I haven't delegated anything, one is definitely more of a proactive planner. The other is just following along, but both are equally supportive in anything I need...

Also, what kind of responsibilities are you talking about?

They don't have any responsibilities to split.

I guess I used improper wording. I'm not delegating anything. Just wondering how to pick who stands next to me at the ceremony and reception without hurting ones feeling. I want them both to feel important.

Ummm are they going to share the dress they purchase within their budget?? Because what else would they be sharing? No other responsibilities to share...

Have one stand next to you and one hold your bouquet. Or sign the register.

All my BP wants to be in charge of something and are all trying to start planning things, and rather than have 4 people trying to plan a shower or bachelorette, I am absolutely going to assign them something to be over. My sister will be over the shower since my shower will be 75% family. My MOH will be over the bachelorette. That doesn't mean they all won't help out with whatever they want to. But having one person coordinate helps ease the chaos. My matron of honor is more involved with helping me with planning the wedding. The BM wants to help with music coordination. As long as they offered their help, I don't see anything wrong with them having a responsibility.

I have two MOH as well my sister is standing next to me and my best friend is next to her. . . And to answer your follow up, you don't.

Tavish, what? I would stay far away from assigning tasks. Even if you mean well it may come across as controlling. Also you WP doesn't have to plan showers/parties/help out with planning. Please don't "assign " them (to use your words) responsibilities.

I see that you're new. Please lurk around for awhile to get the feel of the board if you're interested in joining the community.

Did you get your question answered, OP?

@jacks I understand they don't HAVE to, and so do they. They offered, and all jumped into planning events. They want to all feel helpful and important. When the conservative sister and the wild, single MOH both start planning shower and bachelorette without talking to the other... They have different ideas and before it becomes a bloodbath, I stand by "assigning" them.

I have been here for 2 months, just now getting vocal.

I should mention that I did not see OP clarification before my stupid phone posted, otherwise I wouldn't have submitted comment.

I think everyone is entitle to their own opinion, that's wat she wants who r we 2 judge (how someone does something or their peference) bc how we may or would do differently. Besides its her wedding, jus sayin.

@I_CRE8 Matron of honor is the title given to a married woman and a single woman is called the Maid. Without getting into the whole assigning etc I'm not sure what the proper placement for them in the ceremony. I can tell you a quick Google search might help

Https://www.theknot.com/content/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail

Andrea, I did the same thing. Matron of Honor is my sister who is 10 years older than me (married with 2 kids, coaches volleyball year-round and teaches A.K.A. shes busy) and my maid of honor is my best friend since kindergarten (in a relationship less than a year, a nurse, less busy more flexibility with her money since no kids). Personally, and from what I have read, I think your bridesMAIDS have duties. Its a big honor to be selected as one, but it is for the bride, not for the bridesmaids. My maid of honor is throwing me a co-ed shower, planned the bachelorette party, and has helped me a ton creatively and is always there to bounce questions off of- her choice & she took on these tasks by choice before I had even set a wedding date. Since my sister has more personal responsibilities, she, my mother, and my other best friend (bridesmaid), are planning the more formal, all-girls bridal shower. They sort of took on these responsibilities without me asking them to, but they have made everything a lot easier.

See attached article. P.S. this is all my personal opinion, as long as you your wedding party is happy with the least amount of stress, whatever works.

As for the ceremony, my sister will be standing beside me because 1. She is my family, 2. She is older than the rest of my wedding party, and 3. She is taller. I do not feel the need to follow formal tradition in that case. It is your wedding- do whatever you want!