Matching/coordinating outfits for the moms

Our parents didn’t coordinate. I didn’t even know what any of them were wearing until they showed up at the wedding!

From what I understand, it used to be tradition for the MOB to get her outfit first and then the MOG would get something that coordinated. I don't think it's a big deal anymore.

I guess it might turn out looking cute! I did not know that was a thing though, I know for my mom I want input on what she is wearing LOL but I do not really care what my MIL will wear as long as it is not a bright color

Both of our mothers wore blue but different shades and styles.

I think I've heard other brides here do it but for me we just let them choose whatever they wanted to wear

It is totally unnecessary for them to coordinate, either with each other, or with any wedding colors, or the wedding party. It used to be, bride's mother was queen bee, if bride's family was paying for the wedding. And once bride had let people know the formality of her wedding, so they would dress the same level or one step less formal, the MOB would dress shop. Then, let MOG know what she got, so she would not get the same dress or one close to it. Think in days before the internet, and before shopping malls, which started in 1960's. Many women did not drive, took the train if available to a location with one or more stores in her price range. Or looked through a catalog of patterns, choosing one for a local dressmaker to make. Or make herself. Or choose one of the few special occasion dresses from the 4 big catalogs ( like Sears.). It was easily possible to have only 6 dresses from all of these, in her size and price, to choose from. In many small towns, if you shop in person, it is still true. Like Here. So they both would not want to end up in very similar or same outfit. Until the internet shopping of the 1990's, this did not happen near malls but still did in rural areas. We live 35 miles from where they sell a common women's size special occasion dress between $80 & $250. Except one little store . . . . People generally don't coordinate their efforts to not end up in the same dress, anymore. Too much choice. And years back, when brides' moms stopped being assumed hostess, MOG started saying, why do I have to wait for her to choose a dress, I do me. . . . The 8 towns near us have 600 to 3,000 people each. 1 women's store. Mothers talk before they throw out the dress receipt, if both, and every aunt, all shop locally. So they do not dress alike, or close to it . But there is no pecking order, who goes first.

My Mom and MIL talked about matching but they didnt end up doing it. We left the decisions up to them even though both still asked my opinion on their attire lol

View Quoted Comment You may want input, but are not entitled to it. Depends entirely on your relationship. But mom's have no obligation to listen to a word bride says except level of formality. And if you want dark colors, and tell her so, it is perfectly fine for her to choose yellow or a pink and purple dress. So say what you will as a suggestion, but understand, bride has no more right to choose a family or guest's clothes, than they have to choose what the bride wears. Bride only chooses BM/ MOH, and her own. Not even her Dad's. Just how formal .

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Of course it depends on the relationship. which is why I said for MY mom.

Typed a whole reply, gone.
Too tired for individual replies, forgive me.
The rural 60s explanation makes sense...for the 60s. Or a tiny town today. FMIL lives in neither. Then again, maybe they do live in the 60s, based on a couple other things I’ve seen and heard.

The only expectation I have for them is to not wear white. Other than that, anything goes. My mom said she got a dress she had ordered. Ok, great. Didn’t tell me a thing more than that. I’m not worried about them clashing/coordinating with my color because I don’t think either of them even knows what it is.

I just find the whole thing odd, and find it more odd now that I know it was a thing so many years ago. And I’m going to be related to this person. Yay.

Nope, that’s not a thing unless both want to. The MOG and I went shopping together because we like each other and it was fun. I wore champagne, she wore black. I’ve seen moms wear different lengths as well. Moms should really just wear what they’d like as long as it fits the level of formality.

View Quoted Comment You know the relationship you have with Mom I know my parents. But I am always astonished at the number of posts on WW by brides who say they told MOB and FMIL, and sometimes stepparents, what to wear, and were shocked to find, parents did not accept being told what to do, or wear, by their grown children. And while they have expectations of their parents, they often do not have much understanding of their relationship with their parents. Or of etiquette, the usual accepted behavior for the situation . Reading WW it is clear that for many, it is a time they establish new boundaries, in both directions. And their relationship with parents is not what they thought. Lots of surprise, shock, and anger over what seemed small issues.

I would take it as a sweet gesture. Maybe she wants to make sure they don’t match but coordinate and will look nice in your photos. Maybe she wants to have complimenting dresses. Either way, they’re both adults and I would let them figure it out themselves. I find it hard to believe either one of them will want to match completely (as in have the same dress).

Another thought is that maybe she wants to make contact in regards to your bridal shower. She may want to make some plans for the two of you, and this was the best thing she could come up with to get the phone number.

My mom & FMIL talked about wearing matching colors but decided on different colored dresses. I didn’t mind what they wore as long as it didn’t clash with our wedding colors. My mom is wearing navy (which is one of our colors) and my FMIL is wearing champagne (which will coordinate with the blush and gold colors).

View Quoted Comment Oh I have every intention of leaving them to it. I handed over the phone number (with permission), and my part is done.
I would be truly shocked if she was inquiring about a shower. I assumed there wouldn’t be one, since so many guests are out of state. But it’s an interesting theory. We’ll see how this plays out.

They don't have to match! It's optional

I knew what color dress I wanted to wear as MOB, pale pink, because it was a nod to my mom/daughter's beloved g-ma since that's what she wore to my wedding. MOG was very sweet and absolutely insistent that I choose first so she could select something that "went with" (NOT matched). My dress was long, lace and chiffon, and pale pink. She selected a lovely long dress, with lace, chiffon & sequins, in a deep raspberry/plum color that looked beautiful on her. Neither daughter or I ever suggested anything about what she should choose, but she had it in her head that she wanted to tailor her choice to mine. Both dresses were beautiful and we didn't "clash" in the few photos we were in together. (Honestly, there were only a couple of those and no one but daughter and SIL will ever look at/display those photos, so it really didn't matter.) Unless your FMIL is looking to buy a dress that literally matches your mom's dress, I don't think this is worth any time or concern.

I've never heard of this. My mom & my MIL asked what colors they should wear. I told them whatever color made them comfortable and suggested neutral. They didn't match at all and looked great.