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Ashley
Savvy October 2020

Masks/covid/mil

Ashley, on September 26, 2020 at 10:11 PM Posted in Planning 0 13
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Hi all,


We are having a small ceremony and a small reception- less than 40. At this point it’s just family. My soon to be mother in law has been riding my tail about getting matching masks, not doing a charcuterie board, making sure people are aware of wearing masks outside— etc. it’s getting really excessive.. like everyday she’s bringing it up. We are a week out and if I get thrown another thing with planning like she’s suggesting I’m going to flip my lid. We went from 120 to 40 guests, changed our reception location to an outside lodge, changed the catering to serving rather than buffet— we have definitely made adjustments for the pandemic. But it is not enough for her and I am really getting super annoyed with her. Please give me advice! Is anyone dealing with this? How have you dealt with it?

13 Comments

Latest activity by Adriana, on September 27, 2020 at 3:42 PM
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Becoming selectively deaf helps. When she brings up things discussed and settled before, ignore it. If she calls you on it, say, we have planned all things out, and I am not discussing it any more. And don't. There is no point in a fight, and if she persists like a young kid, you have to set some limits and cut her off.
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  • Emily
    Expert September 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    She may be hyper-nervous, I know I was before our wedding. I had to explain to my partner it was my anxiety and I just needed to go over things alot - I understand the annoyance of it to you, if you don't share her anxiety though.


    In the end, I was happy we were so over cautious - we are two weeks out and we have had one guest who tested positive this week (asymptomatic). We can't be sure if no one else is ill, as no one is feeling unwell - he was tested through his work. I'd feel *awful* if someone was sick or in the hospital on our account.
    Caution is wise - but maybe helping your FMIL if she's panicking. Tell her she can be on mask police or something. 😉 Best of luck!
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Honestly I would take her advice. I know it must be super annoying if you’re already cautious but I feel like it’s better safe than sorry
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    If she wants everyone to have matching masks, tell her to buy them lol. I don’t think it’s necessary for people to wear masks outside though. If they want to fine but I wouldn’t try to make someone
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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag

    We've created masks for our guests and are making it optional for each guest. The state says masks are required inside or outside in public spaces, but there have been several news articles that state that they are not being as sticklers with weddings. (YAY)... People / Guests will have their own fears (maybe) about covid, I'd trust them to wear masks. It sounds like you've done everything on your end, now you just have to trust everyone else does their part.

    Like the first post said, follow the selective hearing rule, and when she brings it up, ignore it and change the subject quickly.

    Congratulations on your wedding, I know it will be perfect.

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  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    I agree with the other person that said let her buy the masks if she wants. Make it optional for people if they want to wear them. You aren’t going to be able to force people yo wear them outside nor should you buy they will be available for those that want them. Good luck and Congratulations!!
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  • Katie
    Super August 2020
    Katie ·
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    Totally been there before our August wedding!!! Luckily it was not my MIL, but in my opinion, no one should be bothering the bride the week of wedding unless it is to ask how they can help. My phone was blowing up and we were working on final details for our last minute ceremony change 😬 same as you, outdoor ceremony and reception, all regulations followed, etc. I only answered texts and calls from my parents and bridal party. If it helps, no one got covid at our wedding ❤️
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  • Ashley
    Savvy October 2020
    Ashley ·
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    Thank you! That makes me feel a lot better❤️ Congratulations!
    • Reply
  • Ashley
    Savvy October 2020
    Ashley ·
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    Thank you!
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  • Ashley
    Savvy October 2020
    Ashley ·
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    Outside especially out in the open I don’t expect guests to wear masks.. but I get the worry! Thank you so much❤️
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  • Katie
    Super August 2020
    Katie ·
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    You’re welcome Ashley and thank you!! You will do good I’m sure of it!!! We are cheering you on 👍❤️
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  • Randall
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Randall ·
    • Flag

    Let her buy the masks, like others have mentioned. Our wedding is also outside in November. We arent requiring guests to wear masks but they are more than welcome to and we will have some available if people forget or change their mind.

    • Reply
  • Adriana
    Savvy September 2020
    Adriana ·
    • Flag
    Just tell her you appreciate her suggestions, but are done with planning and ready for the day to get here.
    Honestly, if she wants anything extra then she can cover the costs.
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