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H
Just Said Yes July 2020

Masks at a Wedding, am i selfish for saying No Way?

H, on June 8, 2020 at 1:56 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 4 70
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So I know the Covid-19 pandemic has been a huge deal, and I know wearing face masks has been a big push. My wedding is coming up in July, my fiancé, wedding party, and close family are definitely not even fathoming the idea of wearing masks. When I think of guests potentially showing up wearing masks, it honestly really upsets me. I don’t want to walk down the isle and see people with face coverings/surgical masks, I put it high on the list with no cell phone or personal camera usage. I just don’t want guest wearing them and being in pictures or video.
Is that too selfish to ask? We’ve had to cut our guest list down significantly in the first place. I just feel that if you don’t feel comfortable coming to a wedding without a mask, you should stay at home and give your spot to another guest.
Does this make me a terrible bride to ask that of guests...I feel like this journey has been stressful enough, and we just want to enjoy our wedding day without being stressed about face masks.

70 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on June 9, 2020 at 12:31 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    If your guests want to wear a face mask they should be allowed. Their healthy and well being should be your number one concern. Since that's obviously not the case then I would suggest postponing your wedding. No one should have to put their health in jeopardy for someone else's wedding.
  • H
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    H ·
    • Flag
    Side Note: We are getting at an outside venue for the ceremony and reception, nothing is in an enclosed building. And we have less than 30 cases in our area since March - if that helps put it into a better perspective.
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Honestly I see that it wouldn’t be the aesthetic esp in photos but you really gotta let the guests be able to wear them if that’s what makes them feel comfortable and if you truly want them there
  • H
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    H ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    We have had less than 30 cases since March, and the venue (ceremony/reception) is completely outdoors...I don’t think people are going to want to wear a mask in 90 degree TN heat and humidity in the first place.
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    But if they want to wear masks to feel comfortable that's their decision and I think it is rather selfish of you to ask them to jeopardize their health to attend your wedding.

  • Kate
    Devoted August 2020
    Kate ·
    • Flag
    I agree with the others. If someone feels more comfortable wearing a mask, especially if they are at a higher risk, it shouldn’t bother you this much. I don’t think there is any polite way to ban them from your event. You are lucky to be in an area where they are not required! It sounds like most of your guests probably won’t wear one, so if you are concerned about a few people being in the background of a few photos with masks, then yes, it does sound pretty selfish. I hope that my guests feel comfortable enough to forego masks too, but I don’t think it’s something you can enforce.
  • H
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    H ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I’m worried about walking down the isle and it looks like over half the audience is ready to go into surgery. Not a few people in the background.
  • Kate
    Devoted August 2020
    Kate ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    If you think that is a possibility, then I would consider postponing if you don’t feel like the day is going to be what you want. If that is not an option, I would talk to your photographer about editing or blurring the background of those photos so that it isn’t noticeable. I know you’re not getting the answers you want, but it would still be wrong to specifically ask people not to wear them.
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    As someone in the hardest hit county in NJ, I honestly don't want to be around anyone outside of my family who doesn't have a mask on. If I see people on the street without a mask, I go even *further* away, because this thing could kill me.

    If you don't want people to wear masks, then I suggest postponing, or restricting the guest list to family.

    In a lot of places, anyway, masks are going to be required.

  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    No, not selfish. I see it as I’m not spending thousands of dollars just to have masks in all my pictures for the rest of my life. But would you be better off postponing so that you can have the day you imagined? I know that for us we dont have the option, our venue will either impose mask requirement or they wont. Not sure if it’s like that everywhere but you may find relief in postponing even if its hard
  • H
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    H ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Finally someone on the same page as me. Thank you.
    We are in a small town down in the south, it’s been 90 degrees or hotter here. I can’t imagine wanting to wear a mask in this humidity and heat. Plus we have had less than 30 cases since March. Outdoor venue, I think we’re going to push through and take our chances. I know for sure 75% of our guests will not wear masks.
  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh yes, the masks are awful in the heat. If I had one on, I’d sweat off all my makeup in two seconds flat
  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    If I were a guest I’d want to wear a mask in July. I think I’ll be fine, but my husband is considered high risk. Even though places are opening up, it’s still quite risky. My sister works at a hospital and the week most states were opening up, she was required by the hospital to get a mask fitted! Plus, even though your town doesn’t have many cases you don’t know where anyone has been prior to the wedding, so people could still get infected. Devils advocate here, but I’m thinking worst case scenario because it’s still early with numbers not decreasing overall for the country.


    Aesthetically it won’t look perfect with people wearing masks, but it’ll make a great story to tell years from now.
  • Kristina
    Dedicated July 2020
    Kristina ·
    • Flag
    I’m also getting married in July, 39 days eek! For me I’ve had people tell me on the return invite they weren’t coming because of Covid, I’m okay with that. If guests want to wear a mask to my wedding it’s fine, just not in my photos. I’ve waited 36yrs to get married and I’m not going to let Covid ruin my day. My FH and I are older and didn’t want to wait any longer as we want kids. I’m already stressed out enough, so I’ve pretty much told people if you wear a mask fine, but no pictures with the bride. I’ve had so much stress, anxiety, tears and anger because of Covid that I just want it done and over with. I get both sides but for me as a bride, I would feel that it would ruin the photos with people in masks. I may do a funny photo in my Seahawks football mask but that’s it. Your not a bad person or a terrible bride, I totally get it.
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    I get that you don’t want to see guests wearing masks . Ok... no problem! But don’t stress over it. Instead reschedule to a time when masks aren’t used as much. Because when it comes to covid, everyone’s level of comfort varies. So, 30 cases might seem piddly to you, but to one of your guests, 30 cases might be too many.


    Since it sounds like masks are a major issue that you cant control. Then do what you can control and postpone until late 2021 (or2022). Because hosting a wedding amidst the pandemic naturally calls for flexibility.
  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
    • Flag
    I feel like if your guest want to wear a mask then why not allow them. To me it def could be looked at as selfish. I feel not allowing someone to feel safe and secure about the matter is a bit much. Jts their health not yours. I'm just saying. However if you dont allow mask Itll be they choice to show
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Truthfully it doesn't matter if it's outside people could still catch something from someone that is asymptomatic. I've started going back to my gym and While others don't and maybe I don't need to I wear a mask because I don't want to take a chance. I mean going back to your original question I get where you're coming from but yes it is selfish typically tell someone to put their health and their worries aside so your day can look beautiful. I know for me if a bride were told me that I can't wear a mask during a global pandemic just to her wedding looks nice I may not go. At the end of the day these people don't need to be in your pictures. The pictures are what you're going to look back on and I know the corona sucks and I'm sorry that it's happening to Brides out there that spent time and money planning weddings and to students that were planning to graduate and walk across the stage but we got to make the best of the situation. I think you could focus on the fact that you're able to have your wedding and have guests there.
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes weddings are expensive and no masks are not cute but you don't think it's selfish to ask someone to put their health second and YOUR wedding first? Either way making that request some will take it all selfish even if you feel it's not. Sorry to say but it would offend. I would be offended.
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    I think it's unfair to ask your guests not to wear masks if they want to. It's their decision and it's insensitive to think you get to decide for them. If you asked me to take off my mask, I'd either leave or just keep it on, to be honest. You don't get to determine what your guests wear, face masks included.

  • Futuremrsn
    Devoted October 2020
    Futuremrsn ·
    • Flag
    I have to agree with you on this, even if it makes me selfish too. We aren’t getting married until October but someone mentioned to me that a cute and funny idea would be to have masks at the wedding for guests and I couldn’t have been less enthused by that suggestion.
    I wouldn’t want masks in my wedding photos either to be quite honest. I think people can make their own opinions and choose to attend and not wear a mask and trust you are taking precautions while planning your wedding, or they can decide to not attend. It’s your wedding, I say as long as you and your fiancé are happy with the decision!

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