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Kelsey
VIP September 2020

Mask police....ugh ready for Sat

Kelsey, on September 8, 2020 at 4:34 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 20
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My venue is located in Wisconsin, we have a mask mandate here. It's followed semi-decently. There are flaws no matter how anyone chooses to look at it. My venue is a hotel and ballroom. In the hotel in the common spaces i.e. the hallways, the bar area (when getting a drink), the lobby etc folks are required to wear a mask. In the ballroom the only time the mask mandate is enforced is when you are up at the bar and the buffet line/ grabbing a cupcake in individually wrapped containers. it will not be enforced when sitting at a table, eating, drinking or dancing. To me that makes sense and seems reasonable; maybe enforce it a bit while dancing but not a big deal IMO. My FSIL called the hotel yesterday and found this information out, she is pissed. She says someone needs to enforce the mask mandate more at the venue. She even yelled at the person working, my coordinator told me this that works there. I feel awful, no one should be yelled at for this. Then she came back and said that her daughter, one of our flower girls doesn't feel safe coming to the wedding because of COVID. She is 8 years old...idk what to do.

Honestly to me after all the crap we have gone through with my FSIL; this just feels like a way to not attend. Which is fine we don't care anymore if they attend or not. I would rather they just be upfront about it.

20 Comments

  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag
    Oh My! Shame on your FSIL for behaving that way. Honestly, like you stated if she’s making such a big deal of it, give her a peaceful out.


    I don’t like masks any more than anyone else, but I’m providing them to our guests for our wedding where it’s mandated both indoors and out. However through several news articles I’ve read they are more lenient with weddings.
    The venue puts these restrictions in place, but I’d almost guarantee they don’t “force” anyone to adhere to it.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    We have told her on multiple occasions if she isn't comfortable coming then don't bother coming. We have boxes of masks for our guests if they need one. But not my job to make people wear them. I'm sick of the drama that seems to be created out of mid air. I have to stop at the venue after I am done with work to drop off my table runners. I'm apologizing for her behavior because yelling at a person for stating how they do things is not ok.

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  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    Give her an out and don't let her ruin your day! I'm sorry!

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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I would tell her if she isn't comfortable then she certainly could just not attend. i mean i understand her concern but she shouldn't have stepped in like that and do that to the coordinator.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    How many times do you give someone an out? We have told at least 6 times it's ok and we understand.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I do understand her concern too, but I can't do anything about it. We can't control the actions of other people with masks.

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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    Sad that she acts like that. I hope she is better on your wedding day.


    Sending positive vibes
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I can understand her concern because to be honest a lot of people will do without it if they aren't going to be enforced. but i also realize at weddings the majority of time people have it off is already high because people casually eat and drink. i think it is out of line for her to have gone and done that though because it isn't her place.

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  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
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    Maybe just ask her to stay home because you are extra worried about her health. It seems like she likes to be the center of attention.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    That she does. I just want this day to be drama free. People to have a good time. And I'm not usually one to like all of the attention but geez this mine and my FH's wedding day.

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  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    I agree with others, if she isn't comfortable then she doesn't have to go. I would just let her know that you understand if she decides not to come, but that you would love to have her and unfortunately, the mandates/policies will not be changing before the wedding.

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  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
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    I'm sorry. I hope it all works out!

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  • Marcia
    Devoted March 2021
    Marcia ·
    • Flag

    From your comments, it seems like she has brought up the covid issue and been back-and-forth about coming to you a bunch of times. I think you need to make it clear to her that it's your wedding and that she was out of line for yelling at the venue. I think you can reiterate to her one more time the guidelines of the wedding with regards to masks, make it clear that these won't be changing, and ask that she decide what her family would like to do by X date. Make it clear to her that you aren't looking to engage in a conversation with her about this again, now or in the future--you do not want to hear one more word about her feelings about the masks. If she tries to engage in a conversation, now or in the future, ignore the message. If it's in person/by phone, reiterate that you won't be talking about this again. It's time for her to cut it out.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    You are so right! I know this.
    • Reply
  • Alma
    Devoted October 2020
    Alma ·
    • Flag
    Uh oh...be prepared for her to yell at the coordinator at the actual wedding if she’s already yelling at her by phone. Our DOC told me that she has had family members scold her all night or blame her for things. I’m sorry you have to deal with someone like that 🙄🙁
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I hate when people do that! It's like yelling at a cashier or server. Its rude and intolerable. Then she called them irresponsible, my guess is the policy they developed was just enough to make sure they had precautions but the bride and groom can still have a semblance of a normal wedding
    • Reply
  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    Your guests shouldn’t have to call the venue to find out what the protocols are. Get it on your wedding website and get the word out. People should be made aware what the rules are and if they’ll be enforced so they can make an educated decision on the risks they’re willing to take to attend the wedding. Sorry she didn’t handle it well. You want to get the word out now so nobody else blows up like this if they first find out upon arrival at your big day.
    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    It is on the website....not my problem if they don't check it
    • Reply
  • T
    Expert April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    Agree with this completely. OP, be firm and tell her how it is in no uncertain terms and that if she makes a scene at the wedding she will be asked to leave.
    • Reply
  • Super August 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    It's ridiculous that she called, I'm sorry you're dealing with her and her wake. It really seems like during dancing is the only time where masks are not mandated but should be, and there's no reason for her to keep coming to you about this. If I were in your position and she brought it up again, I'd probably say, "you can skip the wedding entirely if you feel uncomfortable. You can come to ceremony and leave immediately afterward if you want to. You can come to reception and avoid the dance floor. You can come at the beginning of the wedding and behave like a normal guest. You CANNOT keep bothering me about this. Make up your mind and don't talk to me again until this is over." And then I'd stop answering her calls and texts.
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