Marrying someone from another country and family can't come

I'm confused about your question, "Am I wrong for feeling hurt?" What exactly are you hurt about? His family being unable to attend your wedding? Having more family there than your future spouse (FS)? It does not sound like any of this is a slight against you, so the word "hurt" doesn't compute for me.

I can certainly understand your FS being sad that his family won't be there. But if they don't get along already, then their non-attendance isn't wedding related. Does *he* feel hurt? I would plan the kind of wedding you both want in the location that makes the most sense for you two, and then be there for your FS if he is feeling sad.

And to address your final question ("Does it look odd that even if I do a smaller event (less than 100 people) that only one person is there from his side?"), I don't consider a 100 people to be a small event, but no matter the size it certainly won't look odd. Sure, some of your family and friends might notice there are none of FS' family members (or friends? does he have friends local to you?) in attendance, but only because they will want to meet them. No one is going to think badly of you or him because of this.

One of the things I see people struggle with a lot on here is when a future spouse's family is not like their own. They struggle because they expect or hope their future in-laws will look like/act like the family structure they are used to, which is almost never realistic. Not all families are created equal, and what works for one, might not work for another. Just accept them as they are; if that means only one or a few make the trip - that's ok! Family dynamics are so different, but it doesn't make one right or wrong or good or bad. You are certainly entitled to your feelings, but if you are feeling Hurt, you might be taking it a little more personally that it is really intended. I'm sure it's not a personal stance against you or your husband, it just sounds like that's how they operate. Hopefully you will get to spend time with more of them during visits to the UK in the future!

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I should have been more clear and detailed - apologies I am so new to this so appreciate your words. Hurt in the sense where because his family does not all get along the few who do said they won't come because they do not feel comfortable. I guess that is what upset me...could be because I am so family oriented myself, but I understand everyone's situations are different.

My event will be 50-60 people and that is all my immediate family only just aunts, uncles, first cousins, while only one person on his side. He does not have any family or friends here at all unfortunately.

Thank you so much for your comment.

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This just made me feel so much better and it is exactly what I needed to hear. I guess this is the major con of being a people pleaser and worried about what others will think or say at my wedding.

I am such a simple person and want to keep as low-key as possible. I chose to keep the event small since only my FH's mother is attending and I do not want her to feel uncomfortable!

Thank you so much...

International travel is such a tricky thing right now so I’d think that anyone even remotely on the fence is going to opt not to travel at this point in time. It’s certainly okay to feel sad that his family won’t be there, but try to think about how this day is about you joining your families together so your family is going to be just as much his family and there for him on that day.

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This can often be a big issue in marriages, when one person has a healthy family dynamic and the other partner isn't close, has family dysfunction, etc. It can be hard to understand someone not wanting to be close to family, and sometimes that part tries really hard to build a bridge between their partner and their family. Try not to do that, let your fh be the one who decides how to deal with his side of the family.

It sounds like you have a warm close relationship with your family, they won't be judging you at your wedding if his family doesn't come, especially with international travel.

Is there a way they could join via Zoom?