Hi ladies and gents,
My heart is heavy and I am scared to move forward with marriage. My future mother-in-law has been acting very different (controlling, demanding, and rude) the past month. She's never been this way. But as soon as we signed on a house, she changed. I called her out on it. It was my mother's death anniversary and I didn't want fighting. She didn't care. And later on in the week, she asked her son for me to bow and kiss her feet even if I was right. He told her hell no. She got upset and told him he wasn't Vietnamese. He told her we will only pass good things to our children and nothing bad.
She's manipulative and changes everything she has said to make her look good. She very good at hustling her own sons. She even gave my father a beaded picture she made and then asked her son for $150 for it. So it wasn't really a gift. If she buys anything for you to save you time, she'll add $$ to the price. She's always looking for ways to make money off me or her kids. My fiance understands it's dysfunctional.
Our realtor who is Vietnamese has said no one thinks like them anymore. That they are country people in the hills. They are very superstitious. Like used items bring ghosts into the house - even if you know the person you got it from (it just sounded like she wanted everything to be new to me).
My fiance fortunately wasn't around them too much as the parents worked a lot throughout his schooling years. He mainly was with his best friend's family that is Mexican. So he has a lot of morals I relate to. His whole best friend's family is actually coming to the wedding - just like family.
His parents got a house in the younger brother's name, two houses away from us. They can see the front of our house from the kitchen and bedroom. I wish we were farther away from them. We can't sell the house for another 2 years since we just bought it.
AND the only reason we bought this house is because they last one was in my fiance's name - a big house the parent's wanted and couldn't afford. He only had it a year. I wouldn't marry him with a house in his name and we can't financially qualify for another house. So he sold it. His parents didn't want to move back to their first house, so they got another house in the other brother's name. They can't afford it either. The dad works two jobs and they've almost tapped his retirement money in half.
Fiance has two younger siblings that the mom stayed at home with. They are extremely antisocial, awkward, rude, and insecure. To me, there's sickness in that home.
I'm really scared to marry into this family. It was easier while dating because we were away from them. Now they are pretty much across the street.
I'm not close to my dad and if I told him any bad details, he'd blow up. My side is two states away . So I feel isolated in this mess. My mom, RIP, would have guided me through this. I do have PTSD from my mom's passing too. Another reason why my fiance sticks up for me and will try his best to keep the dysfunctional stuff away. But I know his mom will not stop. She'll keep on.
I'm staying away from her as much as I can. The wedding is right around the corner though.