Married now Ceremony Later

The officiant would need to know. That person is typically serving a function for the government and thus needs to have the right information. How would the license and verification proceed if he were deceived about it? That would be trying to join in a matrimony people who are already married.

View Quoted Comment That’s fair, I’m worried our officiant won’t participate at our later ceremony if they know we’re already married. I wasn’t sure if there was idk any way to make it work

Nope the officiant would need to know. The officiant is the one that fills out the marriage certificate and files it so he or she wouldn't need to do that if you are already married. I know where we got married certain language was required to be included in the ceremony so that's another thing they might be required to do if we weren't already married so that's another thing they wouldn't need to worry about if you're already married. But for the record I wouldn't keep it a secret from anyone but you definitely can't keep it a secret from the officiant.

You must be transparent with the officiant at the renewal of vows because they will be charged with fraud and lose their license to perform ceremonies ever again.


Why do you feel the need to keep it secret? Many families and friends will be hurt and angry when they find out that they were lied to, and it has potential to backfire badly. We have seen couples who attempted that and guests walked out before the reception and cut ties with the families as a result.
Recently there is a belief that having a courthouse (or beach, backyard, wherever) private ceremony is not a wedding. But it is. Signing legal paperwork to become married is a wedding, and even the Miriam Webster dictionary defines it as such. To say that it is not is very disrespectful to couples who choose to have a small courthouse ceremony and not recreate a ceremony afterwards because they want to have their cake and eat it too.

The officiant and--depending on your state--the witnesses will have to know. The officiant would otherwise be looking to fill out the legal paperwork and it wouldn't be there.

We also got married prior to our ceremony. We didn't exactly choose to keep it a major secret, but also didnt advertise it either. Like our social medias still say engaged until we have the wedding. I do have friends who kept it a complete secret from everyone except officiant, witnesses, and bride's mom and no one was upset about it except the groom's mom, but she got over it. My family didnt know before we decided to do it, we told them a weekend later and we also have not received any negative feedback or reactions. We've had nothing but positivity from everyone who has found out.

As far as the officiant still performing a ceremony even with you being married, unless they're a very strict religious official I dont see why anyone wouldnt.

Don’t start your marriage off with such a big secret. You’re kind of misleading people that you’re inviting to celebrate with you. I would have a ceremony still and a reception, but don’t lie about it. Someone always finds out, and quite rightly there is a risk of really upsetting people. There’s nothing to gain from that.