Married name

I’m not either but I know for sure I won’t be hyphenating. It’s all or nothing for me. Hyphenating, to me, can get too confusing too easily. Which name did the car dealership use? Did they get both names on my bank account? Will my clients (I work with the elderly) be able to figure it out? I just feel like it’d be easier to change completely or not at all.

I would do all or nothing. To me, hyphenating serves no purpose unless it's a part of your customs. It's weird changing your name. I kinda miss my old name. I had it for 30 years. 🙃 My husband even sometimes forget my name is different lol. I dont regret it though. If we have a family, I'd like us all to have the same last name.

Why are you on the fence about this?

I felt this way too and I sat down and really thought why I wanted to hyphenate it. I realized that I felt the need to atleast kinda follow the “rules” especially when people were surprised to hear I was keeping my name only because that’s what was expected/ normal. My husband didn’t care either way, so for me, it was silly to do it just because outside people thought not having his name was weird. I kept my name and I don’t feel any less married. Also I didn’t have to call a million places to change my name

I considered hyphenation, but after some research I saw that it could be more of a pain, unfortunately!

I'm struggling with this as well. I mean, I've had this name for 29 years. And marriage started out as women being owned and very patriarchal. We have choices now.

I’ve read here some ladies move their last name as their middle name then use their spouse’s last name as theirs. That’s a creative idea.

My FH suggested I hyphenate since I was a bit torn about taking his name. Ultimately I feel like there are the same downsides whether I hyphenate or take his name (professional confusion, having to physically change it, distancing myself from my heritage, etc) and no upside (actually having the same last name, sharing a last name with any future children). I still waver on whether to take his name or not, but I’m confident that hyphenating isn’t for me.

I actually have a coworker who didn't change her name til like ten years after they got married aha. So even if you can't decide now, you've got time

I’m adding his on to mine so I will have two last names...I’ll be close to 48 when I marry and my connection with my daughter and family.

I’m in the same boat right now. I don’t know whether to add his, just flat take his or keep mine....ooof

I felt the same. I’m proud to be part of my family and want to respect that, but I’m also proud to be marrying my fiancée and am excited about our future family. I am moving my maiden name to be a second middle name and taking my FH’s name.

I hyphenated my last name because I’m a lawyer and professionally clients knew me by my maiden name. So I just my maiden name professionally and new last name personally.
Tbh it it kind of a pain, but I’m sure as time goes on, I’ll get used to it!

View Quoted Comment I feel the same way and agree miss my old last name! I changed my name so when the time comes for starting a family we are all same last name.

I think this discussion also really depends on situation. I could change my name but in the medical field I won't. I have spent too many years as Dr. Maidenname and my patients won't just "understand". Hyphens are a pain in the ass, plus changing professional licensing and credentialing is as fun as it sounds. I'll keep everything the same legally but be referred to as Mrs. Married name socially.