mrswinteriscoming
Rockstar December 2021

Married ladies – if you could do it again, what details/things would you change?

mrswinteriscoming, on May 10, 2021 at 8:36 PM Posted in Planning 0 11
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TL;DR – I have our wedding planned in full but time is getting the better of me and I’m not sure if I change any of the details. For those who are married already, what did you realise after your wedding that you should have changed? I am trying to think whether anything needs tweaking.

To summarise our wedding, FH and I will be marrying in the sandstone courtyard of a 19th century mint (coining factory) in the late afternoon. There is an elevated garden on which the ceremony will be conducted under a cherry blossom tree. ‘Doors’ will ‘open’ to guests 30 minutes before the ceremony during which time they can mingle in an undercover (and air conditioned) open patio before taking to their seats. Afterward, there is a 30 minute gap to allow time for guests to travel to the reception venue for cocktail hour (the journey is about 15 minutes on foot or by car so 30 minutes will allow a little bit of time for stragglers). We will have about 2.5 hours for photos before and after the ceremony.

At our reception venue, a 19th century grand Victorian ballroom, cocktail ‘hour’ will run for about 30-45 minutes before guests are ushered to their seats. Favours will be waiting for guests at their tables – shortbread cookies I will make which have ‘Mr and Mrs [name]’ embossed on them. Guests will be offered canapes and drinks from a full open bar. Once the reception kicks off, guests will be served a 3 course meal plus additional foods at the table to share (i.e. salads, caviar on blini etc) and wedding cake at the end of the night. We have a 5 piece band who will hopefully get people off their seats and onto the dance floor.

In a nutshell, the vision we have in mind is black tie opulence (and yes, I know that by American standards it is not ‘black tie’ since our ceremony is at a separate location and outdoors but by Australian standards this is a pretty swanky affair!).

Time is getting the better of me and I’m trying to decide if there is anything I should change or add on. I feel like it all will go seamlessly as is and works out but I’m not sure if there is anything that could benefit from tweaking. So my question is, for the married ladies – if you had a chance to do it again, what from your wedding would you change? Trying to see if there are any lessons to be learned which I can apply ahead of the big day!

11 Comments

Latest activity by mrswinteriscoming, on May 11, 2021 at 5:58 PM
  • Kristin
    Devoted December 2021
    Kristin ·
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    I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to say your venue sounds so cool!
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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    Thank you! They are quite beautiful in my very biased opinion lol Smiley smile

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Make a physical list of photos you want to make sure you get, and make sure you get them! That’s really the only “regret” I have. There’s some pretty basic pictures we missed out on.


    Mostly, just remember that no matter how much you plan, things WILL go wrong, and that’s ok. Most of them will end up being funny memories!
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  • E
    Expert July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    First, I need to get this out of my system: AN OLD MINT? That is so unbelievably cool for a venue.

    As for your event, I think it sounds well-planned to me.

    The only thing I truly regret from my wedding is not hiring video. If I could go back, that is the single and only thing I would change.

    I think it is nice, if in the budget, to provide a welcome drink for the guests who are there prior to ceremony. We ended up with this by accident - my husband was late, so our caterer opened the bar to keep guests from getting antsy while we waited - but I think it's a nice gesture. It doesn't have to be the full bar, it can really be just a single drink (like iced tea, lemonade, champagne if you want to get fancy) and water available. For our vow renewal, I plan to have a non-alcoholic flavored lemonade and champagne available for guests when they arrive.

    Otherwise, I don't see anything I'd tweak! Don't let time get the better of you and make you start questioning everything! Smiley winking

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    If i had a chance to redo my wedding again, i would actually make it simpler. i would cut out stuff like a game table, the candy buffet table, and i would give more time to photography session

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Definitely have a list of photos for your photographer - I did not because I assumed she would know from experience. I dont' have one photo with my mom on my wedding day.

    I would have done first look for sure. We didn't and I definitely regret it.

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  • Allie
    Super November 2021
    Allie ·
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    Just some of the things friends and family have told me about what they wished they'd done for their weddings:

    Cut out walking around and saying hello to all of the guests because you miss your entire reception that way. Find other ways to interact, like on the dance floor or playing a game with them instead so you're doing something enjoyable that isn't just standing around all night when you put so much money into such a great party.

    Sit down and actually EAT the meal you're given.

    Put a fan under your table because bridal gowns can be heavy and you will get hot.

    Take a moment for just you and your new husband/wife. I guess that one goes hand in hand with the whole walking around and saying hello to every guest, but my best friend told me that while we were all outside during a cocktail hour, she had a very private moment with her husband where they shared some champagne, had some apps and just spent time with each other, nobody else, not even photographers in the room, and it was her favorite moment of the day. Just to bask in being married!

    I'm sure once I'm married I'll have a list of my own, but those are the ones I've heard from friends and family!

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  • NewEnglandSettler
    NewEnglandSettler ·
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    Your summary perfectly matches your vision. Sounds lovely. I have a feeling that you've already got this covered - but I did go to a wedding years ago where the directions from the ceremony site to the reception site were unclear and many of us arrived late (this was pre mapquests / gps). It's important to have clearly written directions available at the ceremony, especially for the older generation who don't rely on their phone to guide them to their destination.

    Put the paintbrush down... it's perfect.

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    It’s a pretty neat spot! It’s a nice touch of historic character in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the city Smiley smile


    We didn’t want a videographer but my parents convinced us. We still question it but given your response I think we may end up being quite happy we ended up booking it!
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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    I definitely will! I’ve noticed that there have been a few on WW who have had the same thing happen. I’ll be sure to ask soon for a list of suggested photos!
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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    We will have a details card included in our invitation suite so I’ll be sure to make a note about this! The venues are close and there aren’t too many turns but this will be handy for the odd few out of towners who we invite Smiley smile
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