Marriage proposal

Move on with someone else

Have you asked him directly about if he's interested in getting married? Also, if you are having thoughts of wanting to move in with someone else, that is a problem in and of itself.

View Quoted Comment Yes we’ve already talked about it and yes he does want to but he’s not pursuing the situation because he hasn’t even left to Mexico to get the divorce and then when he does go in December that’s probably another process that he had to wait to get the divorce I just don’t understand why he hasn’t left yet if he really wants to marry him it’s like I see him do calm about the whole situation and to be honest don’t laugh but I’m kinda desperate because I live with my mom n I want to move out already I don’t want to be just here waiting for when he decides to get the divorce i made a mistake I don’t want to move in with no one else just with him but sometimes I feel like maybe I should just move on you know but I don’t know what I should do

It sounds like maybe you need to be patient if he’s not going to do anything til December?
My husband took a while to propose aha so I had to be patient about it. But it can happen, it’s just we are so eager we want it to happen sooner than it will

I’m not sure it’s fair to expect him to propose when he’s not yet divorced? That sounds like the #1 priority.

View Quoted Comment Yea I know but I kinda don’t know if I want to marry him anymore he has done some hurtful things like at my brothers house I was laughing with my sister n laws brother n then after that he started laughing with my sister n laws sister and I didn’t like that because it seems like he’s trying to get me jeolous on purpose when the only reason I was laughing with that guy was because I didn’t want to look kinda dumb because I hardly talk to anyone there but if he didn’t like it why didn’t he just tell me instead of doing back to me you know because i have bipolar depression so he should already know that Im just kinda different sometimes but why did he do it to me instead of being the bigger person and not hurting me

View Quoted Comment Yea but it’s like I don’t believe him sometimes because he had told me a long time ago that he was gonna get the divorce thru an attorney and that he didn’t even have to go to Mexico to get the divorce so it’s like sometimes I don’t believe it because he just seems so calm about everything because he says he’s leaving in December to Mexico to go get the divorce and when I ask him why hasn’t he left yet he says that he needs to save money

I’m unsure about the divorce laws, but could he start the process now over the phone, online, or hire a lawyer? My co worker is from the UK and he told me he just needed to call in order to start divorce proceedings from his ex wife.

View Quoted Comment Yea he’s in USA and his wife is from Mexico and yes that’s what he had told me in the beginning that he could just do it over the phone but then he said that he couldn’t do it that the lawyer told him he had to go to Mexico to do it

View Quoted Comment Did he say why he needed to be there to start the process? Could he ask another lawyer? Why do you think he’s stalling? Did he get his plane ticket in December or make an appointment to get divorced? If he still talks to his ex could she start the process?


I wouldn’t know the first thing about divorcing, so I apologize for all of my questions.

View Quoted Comment He said he wants to go see his mom n his two daughters over there at the same time that he goes to get the divorce but I don’t know I think I waited enough Even my therapist told me to move on

View Quoted Comment Listen to your gut. Don’t ignore the orange and red flags if you see any. I ignored those flags when I was with my ex, wish I didn’t because I knew deep down he wasn’t right for me until he hurt me.

I wonder if his still-legal-wife knows about you.

View Quoted Comment My exact thoughts.

It sounds like you want to get married for the wrong reason. If it is only to move out of your mom’s, then you need to start saving to get your own apartment. Marriage someone you aren’t sure you love or treats you well is not the answer!

View Quoted Comment Couldn't agree more! It definitely sounds like there are major red flags that she shouldn't ignore. If he was serious about wanting to get married, he would have gotten a divorce already. You've been together for three years which is plenty of time to get a divorce, but yet he hasn't which tells me he doesn't want to. But I also think it is a red flag that she says one reason she wants to get married is to move out of of her mom's house. That shouldn't depend on whether she is married or not. Plenty of single people live on their own. Personally, I never would have entered into a relationship with someone who is still married to someone else nor would I have stayed with that person for three years without them making a single move towards getting a divorce. I think it's time to say boy bye.

My FH and I started talking about marriage about a year into dating and it was at our 3.5 year mark that he proposed. He waited until he purchased and paid the ring for in cash and got his son (9 at the time) involved in the proposal.

Previous posts have noted you need to be patient, but if you are feeling that you just want to move on, that is a red flag in itself. First of all, no one wants to be pressured into something they are not ready for. He may very well want to marry you but maybe he wants to wait until his divorce is final. And with so much happening with Covid, the last thing I'd be pushing anyone for is a divorce and traveling out of country.

I don’t want to sound mean but you’ve been on at least four different Discussions last night just being on this website you were going on and on about cheating on him if you think he’s going to set you up with finding out your past so on and so on and now you’re on here saying you’re not sure if you want to marry him or not. You’re also on a discussion about not having a reception to find out that you are not even engaged but planning a wedding sounds a bit crazy.No disrespect but this is a wedding website for brides to get opinions while they are planning their wedding with good vibes. I feel like this is a therapy session for stuff that should not be on this.

View Quoted Comment

Lynn I second your sentiment.

Griselda I feel you and your boyfriend need to have a heart to heart about more things than just becoming engaged. I understand you're frustrated with waiting for him to propose and December seems far away, perhaps he is waiting until December to also spend the holiday with his children. Mexico begins celebrations early because of the posadas, also Covid is still an issue there as much as its in the US.

If you are ready to move out and start your own home even without a man to move in with you you can absolutely do it. You shouldn't wait on someone to move your life forward. If they want to move forward with you they will. I hope things work out for you.

1. He has 2 kids in Mexico he all but abandoned...? Does he send their mom support? In what ways is he a dad to them? Do you want to marry someone who abandons his kids?!

2. You are 36 years old, you should be able to move out and be independent on your own. Marrying someone just so you can move out of your parents' house isn't a good idea.

3. You say you have bipolar depression. Is that managed? Do you take meds for it? Bipolar depression is a serious illness and expecting your partner to write it off as "Im just kinda different sometimes" is not healthy or fair. I can't comment on him talking to girls or you talking to guys because I can't tell what either of y'all's motives were just from your post.

4. Last but not least, COVID is raging in Mexico even more than it is in the US (border towns are having issues with people coming over to get care over here). I would not be especially inclined to go back to Mexico right now either, especially if he may not be able to get back!

You should end this relationship regardless, because you don't seem to be invested in it. Take some time to get yourself right and then think about getting back out there.