Marriage Prep

Thanks for the advice

That book was used in our Orthodox premarital classes. It is eye opening.

Thanks! People get so focused on all the details of the wedding, but don't think about what everything is for: for your life together with your spouse. I just finished reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and it was great! Really interesting read and made me more aware of how we show love for each other. Definitely one to keep on the bookshelf!

Google 36 questions

Another great book is Preparing for Marriage. It's very thorough, and yes you taking about things that maybe you never thought of, and sharing secrets you didn't know you had. It was recommended by a friend, and we worked through it with our officiant. There are 3 ways to use the book, but that's what we chose. It's also great for those who are even just contemplating marriage, but not yet engaged. Check it out! We're glad we did.

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Very helpful. Thank you!

The heads of most of the churches in our area (regardless of religious affiliation) have banded together to insist on premarital counseling prior to them allowing you to use their church for your wedding (as opposed to "they'll cash the check, so we got married there"). Our church uses Prepare Enrich - your pastor sets each of you up with logins, you take the same (LONG) questionnaire before meeting with them, then that determines the discussion points for your sessions. We went through this, and found it very enlightening. We were almost in sync on most issues, and not diametrically opposed on any. Some of the differences could have been explained by misinterpretation of the intent of the question, or just exhaustion with answering questions.

We also did the Love Languages test online, as well as taking a full day course on "The Act of Marriage" and taking a 6 week Sunday School course entitled "The Marriage Course".

Of course, being together for 14 years, and bringing a combined 43 years of broken marriages (23 for me, 20 for him), has given us a lot of life experience also, both in what to do and what not to do.

Me and my FH are using the Before you say I do book in our premarital counseling. It definitely helps with acknowledging realistic things that come up once married and not just the fairy tale thoughts of marriage.

We did the Love Languages test when we first started dating.

Thanks

My fiancé is a psychologist and I have my MS in counseling/psychology. I also have some training in pre-marital counseling and have found the SYMBIS book and workbooks to be a bit more comprehensive than other books/workbooks I've read in the past. This one also has an assessment that you can take before starting couples counseling. We actually started the process before we got engaged to make sure we wanted to get engaged. Now that we are getting married, we are reading and discussing the chapters in the book, individually (there is a man's book and a woman's book).

It's been fun and is helping us communicate better with each other.

I wish you all many years of happiness in your new marriage! <3

Prepare and enrich... it has options for different religious and cultural backgrounds. Was great for my FH and I!

Hmm, how religious is SYMBIS?

@orchids, I haven't finished the entire book but, so far, it's mostly practical information. I haven't felt like they are trying to shove anything down anyone's throat. It definitely addresses religion but not in a pushy way, in my opinion.

I'm getting married in 40 days. My FH and I have been in pre-marital counseling monthly since October. I just ordered this book based on the Amazon reviews and this post. Is it too late to be effective? There is no turning back now. We have been together 3.5 years and we have not lived together. He has 3 kids (9, 12, and 14). I have a 14 year old daughter. We are having a 5 bedroom house built to accommodate everyone.

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@anne I know already married couples who have read and worked through the book and have had great success. Our pre marital counselors used it in their marriage and they said it has strengthened their marriage even more.

Thanks Yvette!

Great thread!