Marriage now, ceremony later???

What are the Huge financial perks?

I at least would get a $3,500 college grant. He would most likely get a good grant as well.

Yes, what are the huge finanicial perks??

Depending on what those are, I'd want to wait. But that's me.

Hmmm...I'd try to make certain that you couldn't get similar grants married or not, and then go from there. Personally, I would try to get the legal portion done as close to the ceremony you are planning as possible otherwise, it might take away a little of the excitement.

Less student loans is a good plan in my eyes. My university gives free tuition to dependents and spouses of staff and faculty... and as it turns out financially interdependent couples are eligible for free tuition as well! So, we've been doing that (and it gets me health coverage through his plan, which was the main reason for doing so)

Is that for one semester or a year???

I just got about 2,000, and that's for one semester, and I'm not married yet. I am not sure what all the factors are though.

I think we're going to do the legal thing in December for tax purposes. We would have had the whole wedding earlier, but my SIL is pregnant (I will be an aunt very soon!!!) and we wanted to push it to when we knew they'd be able to attend!

I don't think it will take away from the big day as we're not going to broadcast it. I have friends that did the same thing (so they could start visa paperwork earlier) and didn't even know until years later. And their wedding was amazing!!!! But everyone's different. You have to decide how you would feel.

We debated this option as well and because of school. It just depends on what you guys prefer. I can tell you that a lot of people thought we were selfish to consider this because they thought it looked like "gift grabbing" to have a ceremony and all of that after we were legally married. We ultimately decided against and I was very happy we did. Walking down the aisle to marry my soul mate was something I couldnt just recreate. We were legally married infront of our friends and family and it was beautiful. We did move our day up and got married a year before we had orginally planned which was stressful but everything fell together just fine. I would say just bump up your date and have a wedding sooner.

We probably would not tell anyone, just so it still feels real, but neither one of our families would think negatively about it. And we can't bump it up because my maid of honor is a college basketball player and is unavailable on the weekends we could do it.

I'm basically sold on the idea as long as we can make it feel like we're not really married until our wedding day. Make it as un-special as possible, "cut him off" from that day until our wedding day, etc, so that our wedding day basically is still sealing the deal.

At your legal ceremony, you don't have to exchange wedding rings. Don't wear them after the legal ceremony, wait until your August wedding to exchange the rings and your personal vows.

Your question of it if would take away the excitement: I'd say no! I know many military couples that have to do this for various reasons, and they still had a wonderful time with their wedding and reception! It is how you approach it, and if it is what makes the most sense for you as a couple (regardless of the reasons), then it is up to you to maintain the excitement of the big celebration you are planning!

As far as the concern that some of the chosen attendants cant make the earlier wedding: five years from now, are you going to be kicking yourself because those people who are dear and important to you were not a part of that moment? Will you show/look at pictures and feel that tinge of regret for the loss of their presense?

My best friend does not even refer to the day she legally married her husband because of the military, and they didn't tell anyone but immediate family and very close friends. To them and everyone else, the day of their ceremony is what is remembered :-)

My DH and I were legally married 7 months before our actual wedding (ceremony) because of international visas. I needed to get my name changed, passport changed, and the visa to be processed in my new name in order to be able to join my DH in Japan after our wedding, so we had to get the paperwork done ahead of time. We didn't exchange rings until the ceremony, we remained celibate, and we didn't tell anyone except our parents and some of the bridal party that we were already married according to the state of California. We didn't consider ourselves to be truly married before God and our families until the ceremony. But let me tell you, trying to keep a name change secret for 7 months when officially your name is one thing but unofficially, your name is something else, is really exhausting. Especially when you are in school (I'm a graduate student). I honestly wouldn't recommend separating the paperwork and the ceremony unless you absolutely have to.

People get married in all kinds of timeframes, but I have to tell you that I've never had anyone get married sooner because of educational benefits. Can you elaborate on that?

FH (er, I guess DH!) and I just got married on 10/3. We went down to the courthouse, got married in this tiny little room with some generic vows, got our license, and that was it. We chose to get married now for several reasons (some of which are financial as well), but we aren't telling ANYONE. I, too, was afraid that if everyone knew we got married a year before our wedding, they wouldn't be as excited and they would be thinking "Why are you having a ceremony/reception now, you've been married for a year?"

We're not having the wedding to get gifts, we're having it for the memories, for the chance for me to walk down the aisle in my wedding dress, to stand in front of our friends and family and say our personal vows, and to dance the night away with everyone we love. I can tell you 100% that if I didn't have this part, I would regret it forever because going to the courthouse was like going to the DMV and renewing my driver's license. So we're going to do it "right", when we can