Managing two Alcoholic parents

You do have the option to not invite them if you know they will create drama. That’s pretty much the only way to keep the chaos to a minimum. Let your venue mandated security know not to let them in. You should not have to be miserable or walk on eggshells at your wedding because of them.

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Oh no! I'm sorry, our relationship isn't like that. I'm close with my parents and 90% of the time they're fine. Honestly I never care about it, I just know this will be a stressful event that other people will be there to witness. I'm looking for a way to include them in the most manageable way possible.

View Quoted Comment Make sure the bartender knows not to let them drink or strictly have the bartender limit them to a drink or two.

I have two alcoholic step-parents, so I have some experience with this. I'm sure you already know that you can't change their behavior or "fix" their alcoholism. But there are a few possible way to mitigate the effects, so you don't have drunken scenes on your wedding day. Each of these have their pros and cons, and their success depends on many variables.

1) Only serve beer and wine and no hard liquor. People can definitely get drunk on beer and wine, but it takes longer/is harder. Don't serve their favorites.

2) Alert your bartender ahead of time to be extra vigilant and to cut them off after a certain point.

3) Enlist a very close family member for each of them to monitor them and escort them out of the reception before the worst happens.

You are in a difficult situation and I wish you luck.

Just dont serve or let in alcohol 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ You can still have a great time without it

View Quoted Comment This for sure.


Can you also assign a friend or relative to each of them to be their “handler?” Have them hand them water, go for a walk or greet guests, try to keep them out of trouble?
And what about an honest talk with your parents? Not telling them they have a problem but maybe saying their personality changes when they drink and you’d love it if they only had 1 or 2 drinks that night?

We have an alcoholic in the family and we are giving a list of people to keep an eye on to both our bartenders and our security guards that we hired. Look into hiring security! it’s very affordable and actually quite common.

There is nothing wrong with choosing to have a dry wedding! It may be easier than trying to limit their consumption via the bartender or a minder.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Grace. You don't have to provide alcohol/booze, as long as you provide drinks, especially when you know it may lead to a serious drama/horror story.

1. Have a dry wedding. Nothing wrong with this. My FIL and my MIL's SO will straight up get in fist fights if they drink around each other (yes, they've proven this - they did it at a Christmas dinner, so I knew they could not be trusted) and my family doesn't drink, so our wedding was dry.

2. Serve beer/wine only. As another poster said, people can still get drunk this way, but it's not as easy, and it also doesn't make it look like you were intentionally trying to keep alcohol out of the day (which may lead to them acting out).

3. Advise your bartenders. Professional bartenders deal with this all the time. They will usually know how to gracefully handle them so that they don't feel targeted or denied.

4. Talk to anyone they may go to. Some alcoholics, if they catch on that they are being denied by the bartender, will go to other guests they know and ask them to get them drinks. Make sure any family or friends you suspect they will do this to are aware. You don't have to throw your parents under the bus. Simply say, "I want to be able to enjoy my wedding worry-free, so our bartenders will be monitoring guests' alcohol consumption - if someone approaches you asking you to get them a drink, please kindly decline."

You might think of the length of time of an event as 1 key to their behavior. T V and advertisors push long dance and full meal receptions. But In spite of that push not long ago a out half of all were max 3-3.5 hours. Think of a service in a venue or close walk to a house of worship, 11 am, followed immediately by a brunch buffet, and drink orders as they enter, 12:30, and 1:15. No open orders from bartenders, wait for the ser ers for the bar to come around. And have another crew and place for getting juice, soda, tea. Maximum 3 drinks, plenty for 3.5 hr reception as brunch.

Talk to them? I am unfortunately not unfamiliar w what alcoholism is like. They have one drink that day and it’s pretty much over. If u can ask them to not drink at all...

I have the exact same problems and same concerns. So far all I've got is talking to the bartenders that the concerned participants are limited or watered down drinks. I've been reassured by my bar service that they've done this before and that they got me, but it's still a concern of mine that they might ruin our day.

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I'm sorry that's a concern for you! Sounds like you have tried to nip this in the bud.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this Have you thought about maybe short "bar hours"? So maybe only have the bar open for like 2-3 hours? For regular drinkers, this is enough to get a little loose for the party, but not long enough for anyone to abuse it?