Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Kelly
Devoted April 2021

Mama drama pt2 !

Kelly, on June 27, 2020 at 9:06 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9

Feel free to ignore, i just really need to vent!
So i have discussed on here before about how crazy my mother is being with everything regarding my wedding. Well it hasnt stopped and i have such a mix of emotions that i dont know what to do i wanna cry and scream at her and write her off completely. Back in march i brought it up to my mother about her and my father walking me down the isle ( they hve been divorced for about 13 years now and my father is re married and lives in Florida. He is not one to cause drama, my mother however is beyond immature. Yea the divorce was a result of his mistake but he is still my father and even after he left my mother was not the best of parents and she still loves to play victim) when I first brought up them walking me she freaked out and told me i was disrespect for asking “ its like a slap in the face” “ kelly i cant believe you , you have thrown off my breathing rhythm” she bad mouths my father constantly. Apparently she hs brought this up to many people in the family like how could i even have him walk me. Yesterday i found out that she was talking cr** about me to my FIANCE! She told him i almost killed her by asking that and she told him that if i have my father walk me down the isle she will not stay or prob even attend me wedding... im pissed off and upset. First of all does she think my fh is not going to tel me that your talking cr** about me behind my back??? And you’re going to be so immature about this you cant even attend my wedding ... this is not her day and she fails to realize this! I am so pissed but also wanna breakdown and cry because she can never let me have a single moment for myself!... sorry for ranting!

9 Comments

Latest activity by Kelly, on June 28, 2020 at 6:21 PM
  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Don’t be sorry! I know what it’s like. I’m not inviting my mother to my wedding. Unfortunately, parents are people. Sometimes people really suck. But if she’s going to cause this much drama on your wedding day, you may want to reconsider even inviting her to your wedding. Don’t let her tarnish the relationship between you and your father because of her issues with him that happened over 13 years ago. She needs to grow up and also not talk smack to your FH about you as if he won’t come back and tell you. If you do invite her I would just have her on the sidelines if it were me personally. I’d make it very clear to her that if she can’t contain herself for your wedding day then she’s not welcome there. It could destroy the relationship between you and your mother but think about it,Do you really want your potential future children if you have any to have to deal with her crap? Good luck and I hope it all works out and I’m sure you and your dad are going to a great walking down that aisle!
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Obviously your mom is the one with the problem, it seems like she purposely went to your FH just so he would tell you what she said. Your mom seems very selfish and I’m sorry that you’re dealing with that.


    I’d sit her down and let her know (face to face) that you would like them both to walk you down the aisle. You understand that she’s still hurt by the divorce but she and your father are still your parents and this is your wedding wish. Follow up with, I understand if she may struggle with this and whatever she decides you will support, you’ll be sad that she opted not to be there for you, but understand that her health and well-being are equally important. Do not mention her saying anything to your FH, make this conversation just about the two of you.
    Hopefully she cha he’s her tune
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    *changes her tune
    • Reply
  • Belle
    VIP August 1997
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    So sorry OP. I think your mom still has an unsolved problem with moving on, and therefore still bare the open wound. People has different ways of solving their problems, and sometimes they are stuck and need to realize that they need help (therapy or anything that would help).


    I know it upsets you, and it’s very annoying. Wait for a while and when you and her are ready to have a talk, do the talk. Keep it neutral and share each of your perspective. I do think she needs to move on to heal her pain, and I hope you or anyone in your family could help her with this pain of hers.
    My mom could be bitter sometimes, due to her very hard past. I talked to her into a therapy, and I went with her. It helped her! Now we are very close.
    Please be patient and good luck! ❤️
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Devoted April 2021
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you, glad to hear you Nd ur mom are good now. I have tried countless times to tell her about therapy but she refuses, this is just my moms personality always, even as a child her and i never got along. I was planning on not bringing up walking me down the isle again until months from now. She took it upon herself to just go talk about me in a very not nice way to many people in my life. It cracks me up because i have never actually done anything to her shes just always been bitter towards me even when my father and her were together. And the funniest thing of all is yesterday when she was saying this to my fiance i was over at her apartment busting my butt helping her move to her new apartment. She didnt even thank me.. its just ridiculous
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I had planned to go no-contact with my mother before the wedding, wasn't able to manage it, and then she got offended over the invites and declined to come. I went no-contact very shortly thereafter. (I *laughed* when she declined online. Literally giggled with delight. I know for a fact she's still waiting for me to call her crying. Proves she doesn't know me at all.)

    Let me tell you HOW FREEING it was. My BP called me the most relaxed bride they'd ever seen - because my mother *wasn't* there, being inappropriate and driving me up the wall.

    Your mother sounds like mine - narcissistic and toxic and emotionally abusive. (Mine loves to lie about me behind my back - 2 different cousins have confirmed this. I'm so sorry yours is doing the same.)

    NONE of this is your fault. It's NOT your fault, it never was and it never will be.

    If it is safer and healthier for you to break off the relationship, then consider this thread your blessing to do so.

    Our society makes a huge deal out of the mother/daughter relationship, and refuses to acknowledge the damage that abusive mothers (and emotional abuse *is* abuse) do.

    You're not alone.

    Protect yourself first.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Im soo sorry. I’ve pretty much had to drop contact with my dads side of the family cause they aren’t happy unless they’re causing problems. Like my grandpa died. He was my father’s step dad. My father had already lost his dad when he was younger. Because my dad didn’t cry like his mom thought he should, she tried to hurt my dad by making false claims about me as a way to say his parenting was bad. When grandma was taken to the hospital cause of her toes were turning black, my aunt told me at work. I asked if she was okay and before I left work, my aunt told the whole family that I said “good the b got what she deserved”. I never said that and never would have. She’s usually a nice lady unless she’s being cruel, but still I’m not that disrespectful. The only time I stepped out of line was when I told my uncle off for how he treated his own grandchildren. He was so cruel to them (definitely a biological child of my grandmother’s). That was the day I broke contact with my dads family. Dad took one for the team and said he “grounded me”. They act like I’m the problem but they don’t realize that my life is a lot more peaceful.


    I say that to say this. If they want to be in your life Or not, it’s their choice. Do what’s best for you and your family. You don’t need that kind of negativity. He’s still your father just like she’s still your mother. He has as much right to be there as she does. Typically the father walks the bride down the aisle but you wanted to show respect to both and have them both do it. You were showing her so much respect and she was to blinded by her own “me me me” attitude to see it. If she doesn’t want to come, that’s on her. If she doesn’t want to walk you down the aisle with him, that’s on her. Do what’s best for you and your family. Cause once you two say I do, he’s your family and that’s your new immediate family. You have too many friends and family that love you to need to have to have that negativity/toxicness. Unfortunately, some people that love to always play the victim, they don’t usually want to change.
    You are loved and deserve better.
    • Reply
  • Belle
    VIP August 1997
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    If she was always toxic, doesn’t realize it, and refuses any therapy, maybe it’s time to limit your time with her. Either no contact at all, no contact for a while, or meet her only at family gatherings.


    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Devoted April 2021
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Yea thats what ive been doing honestly. I tend to keep my distance because she usually will find a way anytime we are together to upset me so i try to see and speak to her minimally
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics