Making desire for no gifts clear

We put something to this effect on our website.

We still got lots of gifts, mostly cash, checks and gcs.

People are probably going to give you something regardless. But if you don't make a registry, don't have shower, etc then you will probably end up with less gifts. People will ultimately give you things though, it's just what they do.

If I were a guest at your celebration of marriage, I would still bring a gift. I would never show up to a wedding without bringing a gift.

I guess you can word it in your invitation but you will still get something. Haha.

You'll wind up with gifts regardless, the most you can do is just hope people see that you haven't registered anywhere and figure it out for themselves.

I think you should probably leave it alone. Half of them are going to bring you gifts, and the other half will take you at your word and not bring anything. The guests who bring nothing are going to realize that gifts are being accepted and they'll feel like losers.

You can't. There is absolutely no polite way to say "no gifts," since it implies that you would be "due" a gift otherwise. If you really don't want anything, just donate anything you do receive to a charity you support.

Thank you! I guess my bottom line is since it's a celebration of marriage and we will already be married I just feel weird about the present thing. Sounds like leaving it alone is the way to go with this!

I think it's really kind of you to want to discourage guests from bringing gifts - the best you can do is write something on your wedding website or invitation about it, but really.... you'll be pleasantly surprised when you still get presents.

Don't worry, no one will think you're gift grabby.

If you really don't want any gifts or money, pick out a few charities and ask them to donate to these instead of to you. that went over big at the last wedding I went to. The charities made out and the people invited to the wedding still felt like they were giving something.

Don't mention gifts at all. Even to say you don't want them.

If you get a bunch of checks you don't want, donate the money somewhere.

Agree with PPs and @StPaulGal. My mom says it's rude to tell guests what to do, whether that's getting a gift or not. Just don't register and spread by word of mouth the fact that you don't need or want anything.

I had a COM and just didn't register at all. I had no expectation that people would give us anything. I was surprised when people gave us cards with cash/checks. People are still going to give you something.

Don't register and don't have a shower. You will still get some gifts but hopefully less if you don't want any.

If you don't really want gifts why don't you ask your guests to send money to a charity institution ?

No charity registries. You don't get to tell other people how to spend their money. You are free to donate the funds you receive to charity, but it is absolutely not okay to request charitable donations.

We knew that wouldn't work and we'd still end up with gifts so we just didn't register and most people brought us money which we donated to charity. If that helps.

ETA: I started a forum on here beforehand asking how we could make a charity registry and that wasn't well received etiquette-wise (now I see why but at the time I'd never thought about it) so the way we did it was no fuss-no muss.

Right don't register for a charity, but if you get cash gifts you don't want, feel free to donate them yourself.

If you get physical gifts you don't want (linens, small appliances) find a local women's shelter/DV shelter and donate them there.