Okay, so my childhood friend is in and out of the hospital with a permanent illness. I wanted to make her a bridesmaid, but I don’t want her feeling pressured that she absolutely has to plan stuff if she isn’t feeling too well. Or if she’s in the hospital. So, my MOH gave me the idea to make her an honorary bridesmaid, but not a typical one. She will still get a dress, still walk down the aisle and stand beside me at the alter but she isn’t required to help plan everything. She’s still getting a proposal box and everything too. Would it seem rude to do so?
I would remove the "honorary" title and instead ask her to be a bridesmaid! Bridesmaids typically don't do the wedding planning (that is up to the bride and groom). Her standing by your side at the altar and wearing the dress is all she would need to do as a bridesmaid. The bridesmaid title is an honor for your friends, not a job title. If she is someone who you want by your side, I would ask her to be a bridesmaid!
She could definitely still be a bridesmaid, just let her know that she doesn't have to help plan or attend the pre-wedding parties if she's not up for it. She might be looking forward to helping plan those, or she might not be up for it. In any case, the ability to plan those events shouldn't be a requirement for being a bridesmaid. If she is someone who you want in your bridal party, I would ask her to be a bridesmaid regardless of whether or not she'd be able to help plan the pre-wedding events.
Love how thoughtful you are and what a good friend you are! I would privately let the other women know so their expectations are in line with the situation. If they plan a shower for example and the childhood friend doesn’t respond, they understand not to take it some kind of way. I wish good health to your friend ❤️
I've only seen honorary bridesmaids when watching Say Yes to the Dress Bridesmaid and both times it became a superiority thing. The bridesmaids acted like they were higher than the honorary birdesmaids. Not saying this would happen with your bridal party but, there is always a chance. I would just make her a bridesmaid and like a pp said, let the other girls know that she might not be able to be in full planning mode. My cousin who is a bridesmaid is in school to be a physician's assistant. You better believe she's crazy busy so she's not super involved in planning (nor is she required to). She's important in my life and I want her up there. Doesn't matter if she's not heavily involved in planning (especially when my MOH is a mega planner like me ). I hope your friend well.
My bridal party is my maid of honor, my grandma, my brother, and my male cousin. I don't expect my brother or cousin to do anything in terms of wedding planning other than support me day of and wear matching suits. I haven't even talked to either of them about the wedding details because I know they don't care 😂 I think that's pretty normal with bridesmaids/bridesmen? Even my maid of honor hasn't been helping with wedding planning. I talk to her about things or vent but really only expect her to host the bridal shower and help me get ready day of.