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Bambi_2578
Just Said Yes May 2015

Maitre D Tipping Ettiquete?

Bambi_2578, on May 12, 2015 at 10:29 PM Posted in Planning 0 9
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So I know I've seen this question asked before, and many suggestions with links, but I wanted someone's opinion on a different type of circumstance.

I am getting married in less than 2 weeks (May 24th) in North New Jersey. I will be having a ceremony, cocktail hour and reception at the same place. The contact who has been helping me plan everything (a coordinator I suppose) is also going to be my maitre d and contact the day of the wedding. I'm glad that I have someone who will know what exactly is going on running the show the same day.

My concern is - the last meeting we had with him (to go over our menu) he told us what his "recommended/expected" tipping amount was. I'm never really pleased to hear what someone expects to be tipped, but I wasn't really sure of the number to begin with. Then he pulls out that it should be around $600-$800. I know he's doing a lot - coordinating and being a part of the wedding, but is that a little overkill? I only have 85 guests.

Thanks!

9 Comments

Latest activity by User Name, on May 12, 2015 at 11:25 PM
  • Crystal L.
    Master August 2015
    Crystal L. ·
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    This page seems to be helpful!! It says about $500 or a nice gift is standard!

    https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-vendor-tipping-cheat-sheet

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  • Erica and Brian
    VIP June 2015
    Erica and Brian ·
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    Ummmmm no. He told you his expectation??? Rude! I wouldn't tip him anything after that! We are also having a small wedding (55 guests) in the Hudson Valley and our coordinator at the event has been so amazing but we didn't want to just hand him cash because we wanted something more personal. We got him a really nice bottle of champagne and house seats to a Broadway show he really wants to see. Never would he ever tell us a tip "expectation". Unless he's been unbelievable, after that little stunt I'd get him 50 bucks to Outback...but that's me...

    ETA: Great link @Crystal!

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  • Crystal L.
    Master August 2015
    Crystal L. ·
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    I do, however, agree that it was rude of him to tell you that he expected a tip!! Yikes! =(

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  • A
    VIP July 2015
    Alyssa ·
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    Wow that is ridiculous... What percentage is that??? Does he divvy up the tip between all of the staff or is that just him?

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  • Erica and Brian
    VIP June 2015
    Erica and Brian ·
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    Although that link does say the up to $500 tip is for a wedding planner, not your venue coordinator. He is acting as your DOC but still...

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  • Bambi_2578
    Just Said Yes May 2015
    Bambi_2578 ·
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    We do have a 20% gratuity included in our fee, but my understanding is that goes to all the employees (bartenders, waiters, etc) other than the maitre d. I believe that $600-$800 comes out to around 11-15% of our plate bill (without taxes or gratuity included).

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  • Kimberly
    VIP August 2016
    Kimberly ·
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    So is the venue paying him, like is he employed by them and receives a paycheck? Because holy hell that's ridiculous. I'm sorry but tipping is never mandatory and should never be expected. I would never not tip, but that was so rude. If you do decide to tip I wouldn't tip that much, especially if he is being paid by the venue to begin with.

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  • Crystal L.
    Master August 2015
    Crystal L. ·
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    Wow...it just seems like so much!!

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  • Bambi_2578
    Just Said Yes May 2015
    Bambi_2578 ·
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    I believe he is employed by the venue and receives a paycheck. I was looking to tip well (I would never not tip either) but I was just so put off by the fact that was it was requested, and I just thought it was an unheard of amount. I didn't know if it would be different since everything is on site (vs just the reception, as no one in my family has had any experience with any of these types of things). Thanks for all the opinions guys - I don't feel like I'm crazy lol Smiley smile

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