Maid or Matron of Honor?

So pretty love the shoes! I can see where your Matron is coming from, and it's probably true if she's a little older and has had experience standing up in weddings. How young is your Maid of Honor? If you think she could be taught how to fluff your gown and grab your bouquet and make sure everything is all where it should be then I don't see the problem in your vision. Could being in second be hurting your Matron's feelings, like she's only second best or something along those lines?

Following. I'm 1/2 MOHs and I'm curious what the proper way to go about this is

I also have both Matron (my sister) and a Maid (My 15 yr old daughter) and they are sharing responsibilities when it comes to my wedding day we taught my daughter how to fluff my dress and also hold my bouquet even though I chose my Matron to be closest to me and because she has more experience so I agree with your Matron Since she has more experience she should be closet

With whom are you closer?

I personally would choose the MOH that I have a stronger bond with, not the one who could "do more" for me.

I just have different relationships with the two.

The Matron of honor I have been friends with for 10 years, the maid of honor is my FSIL and the only girl I've ever looked at like a sister (I don't have a sister) but she seems like one to me! My Matron has been my best friend all these years. She also feels like I should have someone on "my side" since maid of honor is FH sister. I don't see it that way though.

Also I've never even thought of this or the "who is doing more" thing. My Matron of honor brought it up and I had never even considered it before

Go with your instinct and what you want.

Seems like your matron is trying to get that spot if I'm being honest. And it sounds super petty and catty. Like "hey well I can do all this!" way. It doesn't matter. It's standing in a spot for 15 minutes. Pick your original and stick to it.

Yeah I agree Melissa. It's a catholic mass and my maid of honor is catholic and will understand what's going on a little better in my opinion since Matron of honor isn't. (Not that it matters much but I'm just assuming it'll help!)

I was a maid while there was another matron.

The matron lived out of state, so I was the one who knew the order of the ceremony, how to handle the dress, what needed to be done, etc. So I was next to her.

But I don't think there's any specific order. Your matron can do all those things a space away from you. This is one of those real "do what you want" cases.

I was just a bridesmaid for my brother's wedding but the MOH was pretty much useless (did very little to help my SIL get ready except complain) I was second in line and ended up rearranging the dress as needed while the MOH just stood there. I didn't see any issue with it and no one made any comments about it.

I am one of two MOH's for my upcoming friends wedding and I will be standing closest to her because I know the dress better but the other MOH is taking care of other things the day before that I can't so we've been able to split what each one is doing pretty evenly.

I think it comes down to preference. I haven't seen anywhere that the person standing closest to the bride has to do everything. In the end, it's what you prefer.

It's your choice. It's 100% your choice.

Oh, btw, the gown is lovely and the shoes have incited in me the usual jealousy I feel when I see shoes that I love, but could never wear, lol.

I have a Man of Honour. Literally never occurred to me that he will need to straighten my dress until now ... lol. I might need to talk him through it.

It's really not brain surgery to straighten a dress though. Just tell your maid of honour to keep an eye out. I'm sure she will manage fine.

I love those dresses! So pretty.

I have two matrons (my older sisters). My oldest kind of took the reigns and is planning everything (shower, bachlorette) and she's more into it than the other. The middle sister is pregnant so I think she's happy to take a back seat since she has other things going on.

I would go with your gut and if your FSIL needs any help, your friend can help. Is it really that hard to fluff a dress?

I love the dress and shoes!

I also have a maid and matron of honor, for me my matron of honor will be nearest me because my matron of honor is also my mother. They probably won't stand the whole time though, so she can also actually see the ceremony and not just the back of my head.

The dress and shoes are beautiful!

I would go with your gut and have your maid of honor stand beside you.

I don't think it will ultimately make any difference. Go with whoever feels right. I think straightening a dress and holding flowers won't be too hard for either of them so either will work