Maid of Honor

Your friend would be your matron of honor whether you ask your FSIL or not. I personally think it’s rude to ask someone to be MOH after the fact. It’s clear that you’re asking her just because she does things for you, not because you want to honor her.

If you’ve already asked everyone I wouldn’t go back and make her your MOH now.

Piggybacking off of Caytlyn, the role is meant for honor and not for who does the most to help you out. I say keep her a bridesmaid and you could always give her something extra in her thank you as she went above and beyond for you.

View Quoted Comment I wouldn't agree that it's clear that I dont honor her. Perhaps I should have provided more information. I dont have a wedding party per say so shes not a bridesmaid. And its something I initially went back and forth with from the beginning so it's not something that's new just because she has helped me with my wedding. We have a long time established relationship

View Quoted Comment So shes not a bridesmaid. Here's the thing. I've been thinking about asking her even before this. So it's not like I'm only wanting to ask her because shes helped me. I think I feel as if that's confirmed my thoughts/feelings that have been in the back of my mind for some time, if that makes sense. I dont have a traditional wedding party and my wedding is very far from traditional.

View Quoted Comment So..you don’t have a bridal party but you have a maid of honor? That sounds like a bridal party to me. You’re also still adding her after the fact so it still seems rude.

I know I'm probably in the minority but I did that. My best childhood friend was always going to be my MOH, but another friend I'd also consider a best friend, i was really considering asking her. My MOH even expected me to pick her. I stuck with the original plans to disappointment of the BM, but it wasn't until later that I found out you can even have 2 MOH if it really means that much. My MOH was amazing but felt very overwhelmed by the pressure of her role, and the BM ended up going above and beyond in helping me (like you, I couldn't even express it all here). Knowing both parties as I do, ultimately asked the BM to be 2nd MOH, and I regretted nothing. She feels honored and original MOH feels less spotlight on her, which helped her stress . Again, mine might be a different situation and perhaps not the golden standard, but maybe if you know the parties involved will be ok with it go for it

View Quoted Comment That's absolutely my situation. Current MOH is my childhood bf. My SIL to be is like a little sister to me. Something I've considered from the beginning. Appreciate you positivity!!!!!!

View Quoted Comment Of course! I spent so much try worried I made the wrong choice but was told it was wrong to change. My one BM is married and she had 2 MOHs and was the one who ultimately convinced me.

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I agree with this. I would leave things as is to prevent potential hurt feelings

View Quoted Comment Totally agree! It's good to know I'm not the only one with this situation. I was trying to get a few different perspectives but going with my gut always pans out! Take care!

I personally feel like the title Matron of Honor sounds old and unimportant. If I were your friend, and after you’d asked me to be your Maid of Honor you changed it, I’d be a little annoyed not gonna lie. Not angry but annoyed. Especially if you don’t have a bridal party, your MOH was going to be an extra special position. Now there’s two of them. I would talk to your MOH about it, if you can, and make sure her feelings wouldn’t be hurt.