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Jolie
Beginner February 2021

Maid of Honor

Jolie, on January 5, 2021 at 10:52 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 11
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I don’t know how to tell my maid of honor I don’t want her to be In the bridal party. We used to be so close in high school until I moved and started college everytime I have a new friend she got jealous and when I started being friend with my fiancé she met him and didn’t like him she was talking bad about him. Even when i told her I liked him. She was upset because I was hanging out with him. She moved she didn’t even give me her address or anything like that. So much happened between us. After a long time not talking when I was pregnant I told her she never showed up until not too long ago she texted me said “I forgive you” I was like whatever we don’t really talk the same way but she checked on me. So I needed a maid of honor I asked because everybody im close with out of town. But it doesn’t feel right I don’t feel right about it and I don’t know how to tell her no since I asked. Please advice please!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Veronica, on January 6, 2021 at 12:09 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    Distance shouldn't have been why you asked someone to be your maid of honor and it doesn't sound like she was a good choice to begin with. Removing her from the wedding is normally a friendship ending move, but it doesn't sound like she is much of a friend anyways. My advice is to just be honest that you don't feel as close to her anymore and after a lot of thought you'd prefer that she wasn't your maid of honor anymore.
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  • Jolie
    Beginner February 2021
    Jolie ·
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    I feel like I’m the one that hard to let go of what we had.
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Only you can make the decision to remove her, but being that your wedding is so close she might get upset if she has spent money on a dress or anything else for your wedding.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    Just be honest with her. I recommend you do it via phone call or video chat. Texting is very impersonal. Be aware that it will be a friendship ending move
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Just be honest
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    I honestly wouldn't have even asked her to be my MOH if your relationship was already rocky. Just sit down and have a talk with her, although it may make her upset so just be prepared for that.
    • Reply
  • Jolie
    Beginner February 2021
    Jolie ·
    • Flag
    I don’t mind if the friendship end tbh at this point I would be fine it’s not that I don’t want to be friend with her or care it just don’t feel right and I don’t want her to stand by me.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    If you're truly OK with the friendship ending, then I would just be honest with her and let her know that you feel like your friendship isn't as close anymore, and that you think it's best if she steps down from the wedding party. You should also reimburse her for any expenses that she's encountered that are related to your wedding: dress/shoes (if she already bought them), bridal shower/bachelorette party costs (if those have already been paid for), etc.


    If you are still hoping to be her friend, then I wouldn't remove her from wedding party, but instead try to improve the friendship. Reach out to her more often to say hi, meet up with her for drinks or dinner to catch up on occasion, etc. If things still don't improve after that, then at least you tried.
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  • Jolie
    Beginner February 2021
    Jolie ·
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    She hasn’t buy anything and she said she won’t throw me a bachelor party. She never explain why! The other girls ask her to reach out for that she said she wouldn’t. I think the way she’s acting throwing me off and I feel like I’m forcing her.
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  • Connie
    Dedicated December 2021
    Connie ·
    • Flag
    It sounds like she hasn't been enjoying being your MOH very much, either because she is still dealing with jealousy and resentment or for some other reason. If you are sure that you don't want to be friends ever again, you should go ahead and talk to her about it. You could say something like, "I know we aren't as close as we used to be, and you don't seem to be enjoying being my MOH either. I think it would be best if someone else fulfills that role for my wedding." Be prepared for anger, and know that you probably won't be friends afterwards. Try to be respectful and gracious for what she has done for you.


    I agree with pp that it would definitely be better through video call or in person rather than text, and that you should reimburse her for anything wedding-related that she has done. Good luck!
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    If the date you have on here is accurate, it seems very odd that she hasn't purchased a dress since the wedding is so close. Between not having a dress, refuses to host a bacherlotte party, and her unwilling to talk to your other bridesmaids that should have told you she isn't interested in being part of your wedding.

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