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Beginner November 2019

Maid of Honor

KayCee, on May 28, 2019 at 1:00 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6

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Okay, I've been engaged since January, planning to wed in November and my sister is my MOH, my two best friends are my bridesmaids. It's just a small group of the 4 of us, and i thought we were all pretty close. I went through a really hard time a couple of months ago with friendships and hardships and my younger sister who is my MOH was no where to be found. We live in the same town and she hardly ever reaches out to me unless she wants to borrow something. I told them all that I wanted to go on a float trip for my bachelorette party. One of the bridesmaids made a Facebook group to kind've get an idea for a count so we can get rooms booked. Today my younger sister, my only sibling,my MOH sent me a text that reads: "I think it's too soon to start planning things. I've been thinking lately and we just aren't close anymore. We are two different people and I'm not a good fit to be your maid of honor. Maybe one of the other two would fit better than i would since they are involved in your life and know your relationship." Obviously i want her to be in my wedding. It's the biggest day of my life and that really hurt my feelings. She's always invited over to my house. I try to always ask her to hangout or go and do something with me. I mainly just wanted to type all of this out because it is really tearing me apart and breaks my heart. But i could really use some advice as well.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Tina, on May 28, 2019 at 2:41 PM

Super August 2019
Tina · on May 28, 2019 at 1:22 PM
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Aww...I think you need to see her face to face and talk. Maybe there is something going on with her that is making her hesitate here. Has she meet your spouse? Is there and issue there? I would just met her for coffee and see what is going on and what it would take for you two to be close again. My TWIN sister is my MOH and she is so not interested at all in any of my shenanigans and I had to keep myself from slapping her during the dress fittings. She picked a dress and was like, this is the dress. Mind you it was BLACK! LOL. She's like are you sure you dont want black? Um no honey. I could write a book but I talked to her and she was just having a really bad day and is/was very jealous of my relationship as hers is not the best. She has not been that ridiculous since then but still very uninterested. She asked me one time to talk about the wedding so we could "get that discussion out the way."
Best of luck here my dear. If you need anything that I can do please don't hesitate. Air hugs =)
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Super October 2021
Nicole · on May 28, 2019 at 1:23 PM
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I’m so sorry :/ that must be so disappointing.

i think you should listen to her though, she’s basically saying she isn’t willing to take on the role of MOH anymore. And If you try and force it you may end up more disappointed later on in planning. Can you switch her with one of the bm’s that way she is still in the wedding party?
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Beginner November 2019
KayCee · on May 28, 2019 at 1:26 PM
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I'm sure either BM would gladly take over, but it just breaks my heart that i seriously have to think about that now. I would have never guessed in a million years this is how it would be.
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Super October 2019
Kelly · on May 28, 2019 at 1:27 PM
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I think that you should call her or at least speak to each other about this, but I think that you should also respect her decision. Maybe she can a bridesmaid in ur wedding, or do another role. You can simply say, I would love you to be a part of the day, but I understand that you do not feel that the MOH is a good fit, would you be comfortable being a BM?
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Beginner November 2019
KayCee · on May 28, 2019 at 1:32 PM
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I would say so, but he's such a great guy and they've always seemed pretty close. I mean she was the second one he showed my ring too, the first being my father. Maybe some people just aren't crazy and excited about weddings and such. I just thought maybe she would be since we really were the best of friends our entire life growing up. Maybe there is just an underlying issue that has nothing to do with me, and has something to do with her boyfriend. She's the type of person that has always played it off like shes so grown, mature and has it all together. I have no idea. I'm going to meet with her sometime this week i just really don't even know what to say to her at this point because she was kind've rude, and i don't even feel like fighting with her today because shes a brick wall when it comes to heated discussions. Lol it'll all get better, she just really hurt my feelings there for a couple of minutes.
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Super August 2019
Tina · on May 28, 2019 at 2:41 PM
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I completely understand. Please update us and let us know what she said. I was thinking it was rude to send a text that she does not want to be your MOH and to say you are not that close anymore. I mean jeeze. Obviously you don't think the same way or you would not have asked her. I get the impression that is is hard for her to be excited for you right now for some reason.
And I could not agree more. I thought people loved weddings. LOL. Um I think that just pertains to us brides and possibly grooms. I was right there EVERY step of the way for my sister. More excited than she was. My turn, and she is literally like whats the big deal? SMH. BUT my little sister, daughter and nieces are so excited so that really makes up for the lack of her interest. Focus on the ones that are all over things and try not to let her get to you. Not easy, I know first hand.
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