Maid of Honor

Oh that's tough... Personally I wouldn't do that. The previous maid of honor will likely not take it well. I would speak with the both of them before you decide on that.

Your maid of honor and bridesmaids are not responsible for wedding planning or anything else. They are supposed to be the people that are the closest and dearest to you. If one wants to help and offers to help with things that is fine, but switching your current MOH to a bridesmaid because you feel she isn’t pulling her weight is rude and bridzillaish.

Yes it would be wrong to switch them. The only people expected to plan the wedding are the bride and groom. It is no one else's responsibility.

The "maid of honor" is exactly that, an honor bestowed upon the person you cherish most. You select maid of honor based on who is your closest friend and biggest support through it all, not who does the most wedding stuff for/with you. Don't change the titles.

Yes it would be wrong. Unless you are prepared to damage or ruin the friendship...

Personally, I wouldn’t do that. You’re bridal party has no obligation to help with the planning aspect of your wedding.

That’s so mean, I’d expect your maid of honor to be your closest friend right? She’s going through something and can’t be as present as you’d like her to be so you want to kick her while she’s down? Be there for her, if you’re really her friend. Otherwise it sounds like your friendship is only based on how much she does for you and if she doesn’t do what you expect then you drop her?
Also not sure what you expect of a maid of honor? All she has to do is stand next to you in the outfit you want.

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This times 100. Your attendants are not expected to do anything but show up, sober and dressed on the wedding day. They are not expected to plan or help in any other way, even a shower is not mandatory. Please don't switch them - it is friendship ending.

Is this a new "thing?" I have heard so many stories of wanting to "fire" bridesmaids because they did not "step up" - to do what? Not saying OP was going to fire the girls, but.......is this a thing?

I wouldn't switch them at all! It's nice that your bridesmaid is helping you so much, but members of the bridal party aren't obligated to help with any wedding planning (aside from the bachelorette trip).

Keep them at the titles they are at, and be there for your MOH. It sounds like she's going through a lot right now, and could use your support.

I am currently the bridesmaid stepping up to do the MOH duties in my friend's wedding. I'm planning the bachelorette (MOH is not even coming). I'm going to the final dress fitting to learn how to bustle it. I'm the sounding board for advice and decision making and minor crises. It is what it is. Do not switch them, it isn't worth the likely drama and fallout.

Hi, rather than "switch" their titles, would it be more considerate to each if you leave the maid of honor in that position, and make the bridesmaid a co-maid of honor?

Sounds like I'm the minority here, but I recently did this with my wedding party, and honestly she was completely understanding. If you have a solid relationship and they are truly your friend, they should be understanding. This wasn't a decision we made lightly though, or suddenly. We took a lot of time to think about it, and had many serious conversations about it, and mutually came to the conclusion that she should step down. Everything since then has been smooth sailing, and we are still the greatest friends. We did not let the wedding become bigger than our friendship.

View Quoted Comment It's common on WW and Reddit, etc but rarely if ever happens in real life unless the people in question are dramatic by nature.

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I had a bridesmaid drop out of my first wedding, and I am not a dramatic person. Not the same thing, but she decided to move on that date. I was like, "What?" She left a message on my answering machine (it was 1994) and we have not spoken since.

Good Luck -

She can still be the maid of honor but maybe talk to her and tell her that you’re mindful of the things she going through in her own life and you don’t want the responsibilities of MOH to stress her out. maybe divide those responsibilities amongst the other bridesmaids or give them to the other one you wanted to switch her with. she’s your MOH for a reason but the responsibilities are just part of it. you could even ask her which responsibilities she feels she wants to hold on to that she can reasonable accomplish. she knows her situation best.

I definitely would not switch them it’d be rude and kinda classless. unless your MOH asks to be a regular BM don’t do it

Honestly, it wouldn't do it. Your wedding party as many have stated before are not required to do anything besides showing up. My matron of honor has voluntarily become incredibly involved and I am forever grateful. My maid of honor lives 3000+ miles away and isn't involved. And I wouldn't ever demote them for that. If you do that, you're probably going to hurt her feelings and damage your friendship.