Maid of honor

You should not not make any decisions right now, especially if your wedding is in 3 years. I would work on your relationship until closer to your wedding and figure things out then.

Sorry love, just trying to help. I think you have time which is nice because you need to work on fixing your relationship with your friend first and can do that with the extra time. I would see how things are looking with your relationship in a few months because you dont' want to make a decision now that you will regret (having her not be in the bridal party).

I agree that you asked way too early. At this point, I would work on your relationship. Once your wedding is closer, if you are still feeling this way then I would rethink who you have in your wedding. But kicking someone out of your wedding is often a friendship ending move.

She doesn't have any duties other than getting the dress - which should be chosen with her budget and comfort in mind - and showing up on the wedding day. Anything else she chooses to do related to your wedding is a bonus, not a duty.

Sure, if she has time and chooses to do so. Same as any other friend or family member, by the way. They're still not duties. The only duty the MOH and bridesmaids have is showing up at the wedding in the selected attire.

Not an opinion. MOH/Bridesmaid is a ceremonial, honor role, in that you are honoring those closest to you. Sad that you only want her to stand by her side if she'll work for you.

Putting the issues of when you asked/expectations aside, I think you should keep her in your wedding party if she's willing. I've definitely had issues like that with everyone I'm close to over the years. Sometimes things just come out wrong and we have bad days and take it out on the wrong people; it sucks and it hurts, but it happens. This is just my opinion, but if I was in your position, I would feel wrong not having her by my side after such a long, close history. But, it's your decision ultimately!