Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated December 2020

Maid of Honor vs Bridesmaids

Chelsea, on July 7, 2019 at 11:21 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 12

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hey everyone!
I have pretty much "maid" up my mind on my bridesmaid list. I didn't realize how much consideration I would need to put into it! I have a couple things that I have concerns about (could also be non-issues). Because I have 2 very best friends who I love dearly.. I have chosen to do all bridesmaids and no maid of honor. In fact, my 5 bridesmaids can all call themselves maids of honor because they are all amazing ladies! It would just be too much to call the 2 maids of honor and I only have 5 total. My concern.... One of my best friends I have known litterally my entire life, she is more like a sister. But she is a hassle! Not the most reliable, not the most selfless, and not the most forgiving of friends. Honestly, I love her to death but she would not be a great maid of honor. My other very close friend is a doll. She is quite the opposite actually. She is organized, caring, and a devoted friend. She'd rock the honor. But my sister friend, who I love, would rage a storm if I asked the other and not her to be the maid of honor. She may not talk to me for months! So I am going with none. Just 5 wonderful bridesmaids. Is that weird to do??? I am still very nervous about the initial asking of the bridesmaids because I just know I will need to phrase it all perfectly to not offend my special friend. I am betting she is already assuming she will get the honor, being my longest friend.. So I need to lessen the sting a bit somehow. That's why I bring it up to you all... What are your thoughts to this whole deal? I was thinking about touching on how each of them are so busy and have their own lives, I dont want the responsibility on just one person. I also think they are all so great.. I don't know guys, this all makes me nervous.
Advice please! I want this drama free.

Flag
Hide content

12 Comments

Latest activity by Kia, on August 19, 2019 at 12:01 AM

Master August 2019
CourtneyBrittain · on July 7, 2019 at 11:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think it's definitely alright to have no MOH, especially given the circumstances! I think it's wise to try to steer clear of drama.
- Reply
Dedicated December 2020
Chelsea · on July 7, 2019 at 11:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
Thank you!! Reassurance helps
- Reply
WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on July 8, 2019 at 7:27 AM
Flag

Hide content
Hey Chelsea! Welcome to the WeddingWire community! It’s totally fine to have no maid of honor, there is no written rule that you must pick a MOH out of your BMs. If you want all of your BMs to be on equal footing and avoid any hard feelings, then this is definitely the way to go for you.
When asking each of your girls to be your BM, all you have to mention is that they all mean so much to you that you decided not to have a MOH. There won’t be any hurt feelings about that!
- Reply
Super July 2019
Justine · on July 8, 2019 at 8:48 AM
Flag

Hide content
It’s your bridal party - you can make it however you want! I have two best friends as well, but I did make them both Matrons of honor.
- Reply
VIP September 2019
Melissa · on July 8, 2019 at 9:42 AM
Flag

Hide content
You don’t have to have one if you don’t want to, or you can choose them both. I didn’t want to choose between my 2 sisters so they are both MOH, as we have been for each of their weddings as well.
- Reply
Devoted May 2020
Bride2020 · on July 8, 2019 at 9:49 AM
Flag

Hide content
I think it depends, if this is what you are choosing, then it is probably the best option, because you know your situation best. If the caring, better fit friend would be sad you are having no maid of honor but she will still probably end up organizing things and stepping up, she may be sad you aren't giving her the title just to avoid drama. The dramatic friend might still be upset she isn't maid of honor and try to push you to title her as such, then not get much done and the organized friend might still be upset she is doing everything even though the maid of honor isn't. All I am saying is, drama might follow you no matter what, it might be a good idea to just pick one anyways! But if you think this would truly avoid it all together, then yes, just saying you are really close to all your friends and you really can't pick a moh is a good way to go!
- Reply
VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 8, 2019 at 10:49 AM
Flag

Hide content
No MOH is fine! I'd just tell them you love them all equally.
But that being said if your immature friend throws a fit don't be afraid to put her in her place, only adult women are bridesmaids.
- Reply
Dedicated December 2020
Chelsea · on July 8, 2019 at 11:19 AM
Flag

Hide content
I love it all! Thanks everyone
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 9, 2019 at 11:15 PM
Flag

Hide content
I had two maids of honor and three other bridesmaids. I don't think anything is wrong with multiple
- Reply
Super September 2020
Naikesha · on July 10, 2019 at 7:02 AM
Flag

Hide content
I think whatever you decide is the right way!
I would suggest when you ask them that you do say that they have "all" one way or another been there for you through thick and thin, and what would make you the happiest on your special day when you marry your mister is if you had all 5 of your sisters there to stand by your side as bridesmaids.
You should then say you have elected to not do MOH's because you don't want the added stress or just 1 person. Reinforce how you love them all individually but you know as a team They are the best starting 5 or how lucky you are to have 5 amazing women in your life!

But yes still be ready to console your friend as she will be upset and will let you know probably the next day!
- Reply
Dedicated December 2020
Chelsea · on July 10, 2019 at 7:41 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I love this! Thank you so much!!!
- Reply

Just Said Yes October 2020
Kia · on August 19, 2019 at 12:01 AM
Flag

Hide content
Wow I cannot tell you how similar your situation is to mine! Two best friends, one that would be a terrible MOH, one that would amazing, and a sister that is easily angered. I love your decision of making them all bridesmaids! I’ll prob do the same bc the drama has already started..
- Reply