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Just Said Yes May 2019

Maid of Honor vs Bridesmaid

Jennifer, on April 3, 2018 at 2:15 AM Posted in Planning 1 11

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Ok so I'm going to have 4 women on my side supporting me. At first I was gonna make them all bridesmaids or all maid of honors because they're all my best friends, but one of my best friends and bridesmaids told me I should have an actual maid of honor and the rest bridesmaids. Well here's the dilemma. The best friend suggests my sister be my maid of honor. I pretty much adopted her as my little sister when me and my FH got together 4 years ago and I was her maid of honor. But my other choice is my best friend of almost 5 years. She would be so hurt if I didn't choose her as my maid of honor and chose my sister instead (They already don't like each other as it is) I live both of them deeply and I don't want to hurt either one of them. Please Help!!!!

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11 Comments

Latest activity by earias, on April 3, 2018 at 5:47 PM

Dedicated September 2018
Ashley · on April 3, 2018 at 5:29 AM
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I am having 4 bridesmaids, no maid of honor, for this same reason! 2 of the bridesmaids are my sisters (one older, one younger) and the other 2 are my best friends (one happens to be my future sister-in-law)... I honestly just didn't want to pick one and make them solely responsible for anything. My sisters live out of state and we honestly haven't been close in years so I didn't want to pick either of them. And my besties are both helping out with stuff as needed (though I am a bit of a control freak and haven't asked them for anything yet).

So, what reason did your friend give for saying you should have a maid of honor? You really don't have to lol.
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Just Said Yes May 2019
Jennifer · on April 3, 2018 at 5:33 AM
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That she's my sister. I was her maid of honor. We have a different bond than me and my best friend. And my sister has been completely supportive the entire time while my best friend has not. And I agree about my sister and I even asked but idk what to do about my best friend. I don't know how to tell her. Actually I'm a little scared
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Dedicated June 2021
Kristen · on April 3, 2018 at 7:44 AM
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At the end of the day, it's up to you. But honestly, I think your friend will be okay. Choosing a sister is almost expected. I have 5 bridesmaids, 4 friends and my sister. Although I was the maid of honor in my friend's wedding last year and am equally close with all of them, I chose my sister as my maid of honor and no one questioned it.
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Super June 2018
Future Mrs M · on April 3, 2018 at 8:39 AM
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This is your decision. You do not have to do anything.
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VIP September 2018
Michelle · on April 3, 2018 at 9:06 AM
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Honestly you bff should be considerate of the fact that this is your sister. There shouldn’t be hard feelings in that. Maybe a little but I think it’s completely normal to chose family for those positions over your friends. Maybe if you explain it like that, “because she’s my sister” your friend would realize it’s not about whose better- it’s family.
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Master September 2019
Mrs. H · on April 3, 2018 at 9:34 AM
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I would just make them all bridesmaids instead. No need to hurt anyone's feelings, and there's nothing wrong with having no MOH.
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Dedicated November 2018
Aja · on April 3, 2018 at 10:06 AM
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I'll have two people standing next to me. My best friend is my matron of honor and my sister is my maid of honor. If you want to keep the peace (if you think it will cause hurt feelings), don't make anyone the MOH. There's no rule saying you have to have one!
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Devoted October 2018
persimonefink · on April 3, 2018 at 10:38 AM
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I have 4 bridesmaids and no MOH. I don't think I could pick between the 4 of them. They've all been there for me in various ways and hold a special place in my heart. The obvious choice would be my cousin (just stick with family), but I'm not picking anyone just because.
It sounds like you've already decided and asked the MOH, if your BM is an actual friend she won't care so much. At least not to your face.
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Devoted July 2018
Precious Stone · on April 3, 2018 at 11:48 AM
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You can have 2 MOH. I have two
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on April 3, 2018 at 5:28 PM
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Are either married? Can you have a matron of honor and a maid of honor? I think a better option is to do what you wanted to originally, and just have them all be bridesmaids. Then maybe ask the best planner to help with bridal shower and bachelorette party.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on April 3, 2018 at 5:47 PM
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You don't need to have a MOH. I had 3 BMs and didn't want to chose one over the other so I didn't have a MOH. Don't choose someone to be a MOH just because your friends are saying you should. This is a personal decision only you can make.
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