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Dedicated July 2020

Maid of Honor Problems

Stacey, on January 27, 2020 at 7:28 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9
I just got back from having dinner with two of my bridesmaids. They told me they had something they wanted to talk to me about. They are really uncomfortable with the maid of honor because she told them my fiance cheated on me. My bridesmaids don't really know the maid of honor that well because they are from a different friends group than her. Apparently the time she is referring to was two years when we were broken up. We had broken up for two months and during that time he hooked up with someone. He was very upfront about it. I had confided in my maid of honor and now two years later she still doesn't like him. She feels that it was just a temporary break and he had no right to hook up with anyone else. I went on dates with two different guys during that time because at the time we didn't think we would get back together. I have told her multiple times that we were broken up so it wasn't cheating, but she feels I'm only defending him because he's my fiance. I'm not sure how to proceed. She has been my best friend for almost 15 years. I didn't realize she still felt this way towards him because we have hung out with her several times since we got back together and she was always very nice. Any advice?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Holly, on January 30, 2020 at 4:01 PM
  • Jordan
    Expert March 2021
    Jordan ·
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    I would try to sit down with her and talk to her again. Just let her know that it is her opinion but you guys have everything straightened out and are happy with your relationship so she needs to move on and be happy for you. Also i would definitely mention to her about bringing it up to other people. That when you told her about it, it was supposed to be just between you and her and no one else so you would like her to stop telling people.


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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Regardless how she feels about him she needs to respect the relationship. I would not say anything because then she will know the bridesmaids said something and that could cause friction. Honestly you do not need to explain your relationship to anyone so unless she says nothing to you then let it go. Notice how she acts and if she says something offputting then have a serious conversation with her.

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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
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    I was in your friend's situation over 10 years ago. My college best friend was with her bf (now husband) for 3 months and then he cheated on her with another girl we went to college with! I was so disappointed and upset that my friend went back to the man...and still is with him.


    I've been around when she's had her ups and downs with him, I've heard it all. We meet up with them when we go back to Texas, but I think that's been maybe 3 times in the last 10 years. They have 2 kids and it sounds like he's trying to be a better dad and husband. I don't necessarily approve of her decision, but he makes her happy and hasn't cheated on her since (that I know of). I am nice around him cause he is a nice guy, and she knows that deep down I still wish she made a different choice.


    Your friend needs to stop talking to others about what she thinks. Also, she needs to let it go. You're going to make whatever decision you want regardless of her opinion. If your FH makes you happy then that should be enough for her to stop being upset. All she can do is be there for you when you need her.

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  • S
    Dedicated July 2020
    Stacey ·
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    If he had hooked up with someone while we were together that would be a completely different story. Cheating is a hard no for me. But since we were broken up, then I don't consider it cheating. I had told her once before about a year ago when she brought it up that she needed to let it go, but she clearly hasn't.

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  • Jada
    Savvy April 2021
    Jada ·
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    When getting married I feel like everyone on side of you should support you 100% . Not 99.99 , 80 . None of that , this is a very big step for you & your fiancé ! & you’ve forgiven him , if she can’t move past it , she can be a guest or nothing . You deserve every bit of happiness on this journey ❤️
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  • Suzie
    Super October 2021
    Suzie ·
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    I would be furious if my BF did this. I’m mad for you. Anyone in your wedding should support you 100%. Her opinion of your relationship is irrelevant, and that is a total breach of your trust for her to tell your BMs behind your back - or even at all. I would talk to your friend, in person, and tell her that first of all, she needs to keep her opinions to herself, and if she can’t be on board completely, then she needs to step down. Of course your BMs are going to ask you about this, so she would have no right to be upset about them telling you. And really what leg would she have to stand on, since she broke your confidence in telling them. I wouldn’t want anyone standing up next to me that did not support my relationship, or at the very least, my choices.

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  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    I have been on both sides of this. I was the girl who had my boyfriend take a "break" with me because he was unsure of us. His exploration ended in him sleeping with other women. He came back. Two years later he puts a ring on my finger. All in time for me to find out he has a daughter that is 14 months old and he is in/has been in a custody battle. Talk about traumatic for me. My whole world was shattered.it is hard to look at that situation as not cheating. He knew what he was doing and he dragged me along for whatever selfish reasons he gave himself. A few years later my friend got engaged to a guy who also needed some time for himself to explore. He slept around and came back. She asked me to be a bridesmaid and I couldn't do it because i respected her so much that it killed me to think she allowed this behavior. Your MOH may not be trying to be disrespectful. In fact, she may know how awful this feels and how it can bring up poor memories years down the road. She may have your best interest at heart. Just talk to her and try to explain your side but also hear her out. This could be a sign she just really cares about you.
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I agree that she may just be thinking she is protecting you, but this was two years ago. She needs to get over it. I would talk with her about it and get all the feelings about it out. Let her speak her peace and then you can do the same. Then let her know if there is another issue about it, address it with you directly, don't run to others behind your back. You're an adult woman and you can make your own decisions about your personal life! Smiley smile

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  • H
    Dedicated September 2021
    Holly ·
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    Goodness. I understand she is a good friend, and why she may be upset. Plain and simple, you knew he did it as he told you himself, and she is still bothered? Two years go by and she still doesn't like him. Is she a mistrusting person or is there more to the story about your guy? This seems pretty cut and dry. She should move on since YOU TWO worked it out. You said yourself that there was no cheating since you were not together and hadn't expected to get back together. It sounds as if she is trying to get you to change your view on what is cheating and what isn't. Stand your ground. She can say "he had no right" and you can say "he had no right". In the end, whose words matter most?

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