Maid of honor mia

I know people say that your bridesmaids and maids of honor are not expected to anything other than stand their with you on your special day. And though I agree on some aspects of it (though it’s definitely nice when they do step up), I do think they should, at the very least, care and be excited for you. That being said, she might be going through something right now that she’s just not ready to talk about. Have you tried talking to her friend to friend rather than bride to maid of honor? Like about how she’s doing and life in general. Not wedding related stuff

I’ve actually tried coming to her as a friend. I’ve asked her if she’s doing okay. For whatever reason she is pushing me away and avoiding being apart of the wedding. She won’t communicate with me so it’s easy to think the worst.

When you say she won't step up, what exactly do you mean?

I don't think you should be communicating via messaging. I think it is best to give her a phone call at least. It sounds to me like she may be going through something personal. A lot of people tend to isolate themselves when going through a crisis. Personally speaking, I am a private person when it comes to friends and acquaintances. When my FSFIL was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer, I only told one lady in my bridal party and that was because she was going through something similar. I would put the subject of your wedding aside and check in on your friend.

I am confused bybshe won’t step up comment. We are date twins so it is srill
early for her to be trying on dresses. Or for a bachelorette or wedding shower Wich they do not have to throw for you but it is nice when they do. Do you send out a lot of texts about the wedding? If so she may be overwhelmed and well as it is your biggest day it’s not her biggest day.

I don’t expect a bridal party this isn’t even about that. Also the sooner you get dress shopping done the better. Especially if it needs to be altered. Just FYI It’s about her not being around at all lately. A wedding is stressful which I’m sure you all already know, and you need your friends. Brides lean on MOH it’s kinda the role. But lately she’s been gone. It’s easy to take offense to as a friend. My wedding is important to me and it’s my whole life at the moment sure, I don’t expect the same in her eyes. But I do expect her to be around and putting effort in. MOH have huge roles.

View Quoted Comment I been leaning on my fiancé. I think two of my 4 brides maids have gotten the dress and none of the grooms ladies have. I think it does sound like she may have something going on in her life or is just wedding outed. How about if you do a girls day or outing nothing about the wedding.

I agree with PP. Check in on her as a friend. I know you said you have, but try again. Being an MOH can certainly be a big role. Maybe she is feeling overwhelmed.

Since you have said you have reached out as a friend and gotten no reply I would reach out again, and say "hey___, I would really like to talk and make sure you are okay. You are important to me and if there is anything I can do for you I hope you will let me know." And leave it at that. She may not want to talk about it. Put the ball in her court and then step back. I have had friends who I know when they go through stuff they get distant for a bit, while they process whatever is going on, and then will reach out when they need to. She may be one of those people.

I'm having the same issue. Shes excited and talks about it though, but won't do anything. My mom has been trying to contact her about the bridal shower and she ignores her. She designed my wedding invites as well as the bridal shower invites and somehow the invites for the shower and the envelopes ended up on my tab. Then she asked me to help her address them, which I said sure. She came over and we wrote them all out. Then she left with her moms invite, but left them all on my table for me to buy postage and mail out for my own bridal shower! Shes not rich, but shes not broke wither. Shes off getting more tattoos right now actually that's not cheap. My wedding is in 2 months so at this point I'm just going to ignore it. One of my bridesmaids recently stepped up and started helping my mom with the shower. I wish I could switch them but I dont want to hurt anyones feelings.

Update: She’s no longer maid of honor. Apparently a wedding shows people’s true colors! 😂

View Quoted Comment Sorry you are going through it too. Yeah it’s those little details that throw you. Like why not pay for stamps? Or return a phone call? It’s not difficult to care about someone or even decline to be a maid of honor in the first place! It’s priorities that it comes down to. Which was my issue too! I’m glad you have another person to help your mom. I completely understand why you are just gonna roll with it. I just couldn’t stand being fake with mine it’s so not my personality. I’d rather spend this day with people who actually care to be there. So sad how people fail to realize how special this role is in any wedding. We need our man and our right hand woman!