Maid of Honor issues😕

I would have an honest conversation with her. It may be tough, but I think that would be the best way to approach it. Good luck.

What important events is she “needed” at? It’s not her job to assist you in planning the wedding and she’s not required to plan any pre wedding events.... so maybe your expectations are unrealistic. She has a job and a life too and it’s not her job to be at your beck and call.

Also dont involve your wedding planner 😒 that sounds so high maintenance and silly. It’s not their job to manage your drama.

You shouldn’t do anything. She’s busy, so what? What events could you possibly need her at?

View Quoted Comment Never said it was her job to be at my beck and call.. It was a question. However, I asked because she and my Matron but heads if I ask the other to participate. And I asked for advice because in the past when she could not make things she was upset because my Matron could. Its not my drama...but thanks for your comment.....

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your reply......

What would you do if she was upset that she couldn't join you at a one-night-only live performance but your Matron could and did? Do that.

View Quoted Comment At this point im over it. It is what it is... I just need the 4th of April to come and be done.

I hate how rude the first comments were...no she is not required to do things but a good MOH will want to be involved in helping in a lot of the planning process. If she can't make it then ok but she doesn't have a right to be mad at your matron for stepping in. Personally my MOH has really dropped the ball on some things and thankfully the rest of my squad has helped pick up the pieces. It has caused a little friction, I'm sure, but they are handling it like adults and trying to keep as much stress off of me as possible. I hope your MOH can pull it together for your sake! I hate seeing that you're pretty much dreading the process building up to your big day...it shouldn't be that way at all!

View Quoted Comment The maid of honor is the bride's chief support during, before and after the wedding.

What Does a Maid of Honor Really Do?

• The maid of honor helps the bride with wedding planning, making decisions and navigating family difficulties and other stresses.
• A maid of honor is responsible for being the head of the bridesmaids, keeping them organized.
• Typically, the maid of honor leads the bridesmaids in planning a bridal shower and often a bachelorette party.
• On the day of the wedding, a maid of honor helps the bride get dressed and stay calm.
• Often, the maid of honor makes a toast or a speech at either the wedding or the rehearsal dinner.
• Couples getting legally married in the United States frequently ask the maid of honor to be one of the signers of the marriage license.
• Perhaps most importantly, the maid of honor is a good listener and has a strong shoulder for the bride to lean on.

The magazines and websites that write articles like this also write articles about how it’s the bride’s father’s job to pay for the wedding and how to keep your new husband happy being at his beck and call 24/7. Thankfully it’s 2019 and times have changed. It’s no longer anyone’s responsibility to plan or pay for a wedding except the two consenting adults who decided to throw the party in the first place.

View Quoted Comment No it's not required for the MOH to do all of those things, it plainly states the words "often and typically" or that they are frequently asked. Yes the times have changed but if this woman is friends with her and agreed to be her maid of honor then she knew what her friend's personal expectations were. If she isn't prepared to help with those things then she shouldn't be upset when someone else steps in to help with it. You may not want or expect those things for your wedding but some people still do. No matter how the times have a changed the concept being a decent person or a good friend hasn't changed. I'm sure people involved in your wedding know your expectations. Nowhere in her post did she mention her paying for anything. Just coming to important events. If the roles were reversed for my MOH and myself...if it is important to her that I be there, then I'm gonna try my hardest to be there. If I can't and another member of the wedding party can then I would be happy that the bride had some emotional support.

If she can’t make things, that’s fine, things happen, but she has no right to be upset that someone else steps in when she declines. Does she really expect you to do things on your own, just because she can’t? Ridiculous.

Kudos to Hope for those thoughtful responses. I agree! While not a requirement, anyone taking on a MOH role knows that help with planning is likely involved, at some point. It’s why you ask them!

THE MATTER HAS BEEN RESOLVED..EVERYONE IS GOOD...MY MATRON AND MAID ARE NOW ON THE SAME PAGE. THIS TOPIC CAN NOW BE CLOSED...THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS..THEY WERE WELL RECEIVED😉

View Quoted Comment THANKS SUZIE😉

View Quoted Comment THANK YOU HOPE😉

View Quoted Comment I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MY MOH PAYING FOR ANYTHING IN MY POST..😳 BUT NONETHELESS...IM DONE...ITS RESOLVED AND MOVING ON.