Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

October 2019

Maid of honor has backed out twice!

Bride, on July 10, 2019 at 10:29 AM Posted in Planning 0 10

Saved

Flag
Hide content

My maid of honor has backed out twice now. She doesn’t get along with one of the bridesmaids, but the animosity is completely one sided. Twice now she has messaged me (yes messaged) telling me she won’t be coming to my wedding and won’t be maid of honor. Since then, she has messaged me apologizing and begging me to give her another chance. It’s really upsetting each time she does it though, and it makes me worried she’ll leave me at the alter. Should I tell her it’s too late and I think it’s best if she isn’t maid of honor? I’m worried it might be a huge strain on our friendship.

Flag
Hide content

10 Comments

Latest activity by CourtneyBrittain, on July 11, 2019 at 2:26 PM

October 2019
Bride · on July 10, 2019 at 10:31 AM
Flag

Hide content
Edit: the first time she did it I let it go, but this is the second time
- Reply
Master August 2019
CourtneyBrittain · on July 10, 2019 at 10:39 AM
Flag

Hide content
I would tell her that you accept her apology but due to this being the second time, the wedding coming up, and needing to be sure your ladies are there for you, you can't risk it happening again. Maybe offer for her to still get ready with y'all and to be a part of the day, but I would seriously reconsider letting her in again.
- Reply
Master June 2019
Danielle · on July 10, 2019 at 10:42 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. Invite her to still be a guest, but don't open yourself up for possibly being let down again.
- Reply
VIP April 2019
Nikita · on July 10, 2019 at 10:47 AM
Flag

Hide content
I also would 'let her off the hook' - same as anyone who can't put their own personal stress/drama aside for your wedding. I usually assign wedding party and/or close family members to keep a birdseye on drama. I certainly wouldn't want to have someone assigned to watch the wedding party instead!
Maybe she can be involved in other ways, but as a MOH, it may just be too much stress for her.
- Reply
Dedicated August 2020
Madison · on July 10, 2019 at 10:58 AM
Flag

Hide content
Your MOH is supposed to be your closest friend. True friends do not let others get in the way of supporting you before and on the big day. It seems this has made the process more stressful for you, and possibly not worth it to have her in the wedding. It may end up causing a strain on your friendship if you decide to let her go, though.
- Reply
VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 10, 2019 at 11:04 AM
Flag

Hide content
I'd tell her no she can't be MOH because she did it twice and now she's a guest. Save yourself the drama.
- Reply
Expert September 2020
Christine · on July 10, 2019 at 11:07 AM
Flag

Hide content
Yes, I would ask her to step down from her position as MOH. You can invite her to the bachelorette party and/or bridal shower, but she should just attend your wedding as a guest. You don't need the drama or stress!
- Reply
Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on July 10, 2019 at 11:50 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
This. Nicely said and boundaries set that she can’t return and ask for MOH role again.
- Reply
October 2019
Bride · on July 11, 2019 at 2:25 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I ended up doing this! Thank you for the advice you guys. She took it pretty well honestly.
- Reply

Master August 2019
CourtneyBrittain · on July 11, 2019 at 2:26 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Oh good! I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, but I am so thankful it worked out alright for you.
- Reply