Maid of Honor frustrations

Be firm with her and let her know the dress needs to be purchased NOW or she won’t be participating.

Let her know that it is stressing you out and it would mean a lot if she could buy it now, even if she still thinks she has time. Tell her that she might be right but you never know if you need to return it and get a new size or if they ship the dress in the wrong color. The extra time is for exchanges to occur and/or time for alterations.

If money wasn’t the issue, what’s the issue ? 😳


I agree with the above, please purchase it by X date or kindly tell her she won’t be participating.

I would reach out to where they are getting the dresses to find out when the latest date is for ordering the dress in order to receive it in time. Then I would tell her a deadline a little bit before that date and make her aware that if she doesn't have the dress by that date then unfortunately you have no choice but to ask her to step down as MOH.

Is the dress the same as the other bridesmaids? Is she ordering a conventional dress from a bride/bridesmaid store or website? Is the wedding being held in a state/area wherein COVID surges are still happening/still predicted to happen?

Can you have a heart to heart? Like ask her if there’s anything that is keeping her from ordering it? Or even deeper, if she’s feeling ambivalent about being in your wedding?
You know her better than I do, but maybe there are reasons nothing to do with you to are causing her to put it off - did she gain wait and is hoping to lose some? Are her finances suffering and she’s ashamed to admit it? Is she really depressed and it’s overwhelming?
Remember, she’s your best friend. You can talk to her.

She'll have a dress or she wont, there's literally nothing for you to do here other than stop bugging her about it. She knows when your wedding is. I've never ordered a BM dress 3.5 months early and it's been fine.

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I totally agree with Samantha's really well-stated and empathetic advice!

People have suggested some really good reasons for why she might be hesitant.

As an alternative, she might just be like me - laid back and just legit thinking "I've got plenty of time." I know, logically, that these things can take time. But in my experience dresses often come in so much faster than quoted (again - I understand that this isn't always the case hence why it's good to order early). But as an example, I had to be dragged to go wedding dress shopping because "it might take 6-8 months to come in!!" My dress arrived 3 weeks later, in the middle of the holidays no less. Same with bridesmaids dresses I've ordered in the past - they have always arrived between 1 and 3 weeks after I order them. I can't help but say this makes it hard for me to grasp the mentality of hurry up and order early.

I have given my girls a soft deadline of 2.5 months before the wedding and I just told them to be mindful of whether or not they will need alterations/ how long that might take.

I am having the SAME problem! I have gotten weird vibes from her since the day I told her we were getting married. We have also been friends 20+ years. She replied "what's the rush". For reference, he & I had been together 7 years when we got engaged. Now it's 8 years. What's the rush??? I also offered to pay for her dress if she needed it.

Now we are 52 days away from the wedding and she has yet to buy a dress. I swear she and your MOH must know each other bc she literally said me, we have time, it will be fine. UUUMMM....at this point, I almost don't even want her to come. I feel very hurt by her complete lack of interest in all aspects of this wedding.

There may be something going on with her that she isn't communicating to you about because she doesn't want to burden you. Is she close with anyone else in the bridal party? Perhaps someone other than the bride can extend an olive branch & open the lines of communication to try and see if they can dig a bit deeper?

If that's not the case, at this point, I would be completely honest with her & just let her know that you'd love to get all the dresses checked off your list so it's no longer a source of stress & focus on other things. Then ask her to move forward with purchasing, try to give her a specific date & deadline to get it done by, don't leave it up to her.