Maid of Honor Duties? / How to ask for help

When they offered, I asked a few of my bridal party members to pick up the breakfast and lunch catering (that was prepaid) for the day of. It was on their way and it made my morning much less stressful. Other than that, I told them that I appreciated their offer and would let them know if I thought of anything. The last thing I wanted to do was put my friends and family to work for my wedding.

I'm in a similar situation! My MOH is in Bama, 2 of them are in PA and one actually lives in the same town. I honestly love doing the planning myself with my FH. I think most of the duties come on the day of the wedding. My bridesmaids haven't done a lot other than the planning they need to do for dresses, shoes, etc. My MOH has mostly been there for moral support through the ups and downs of wedding planning. She is planning the BP. She has also been there to help me make decisions that my FH doesn't really care about, like should the robes be personalized, etc. My MIL asked to host the bridal shower, so that was taken care of but I wanted the BMs there and I made that clear to them. What we are doing is having the BP two days before the wedding. That way my MOH only has to travel twice; once for the bridal shower and once for the BP and wedding. She is coming up three days before the wedding so it works well to have the BP that week.

Also, I'm totally familiar with your family situation. I just went through that. My MIL told me over thanksgiving that my FH's side of the family will help with anything and they will pay for it if they need to. I'm like, "There isn't anything because we are 3.5 months out and most of the stuff has been purchased, done, or has to be done by me!" So, there are a couple of tasks I'm passing on, but not much. They all live out of state from me, so it would be impossible to get the materials to them so they can do anything else. I wouldn't worry about it. If you don't have any tasks to give them, then you don't have too. I came to that conclusion yesterday haha! Plus, I want to keep busy to help the time pass until the wedding because I'm so excited!

I'm not having my bridesmaids have duties or help out mostly because I am a control freak and have to do everything myself. There's not a whole lot anyone can do that doesn't live in town (and I don't even live in the town I'm getting married in )

I have asked that my sister plan the bachelorette and that my bridesmaids attend if they can and purchase their dresses. I didn't want a bridal shower and haven't mentioned this as a duty to anyone so we are hopefully avoiding that.

Otherwise day of I want them to enjoy and not have any tasks but to enjoy the day with me!

I had a similar issue that I posted about as well. Starting a group text . I did mine on "groupme"

and let them come to you. I would say to them, maybe share ideas bridesmaid dresses, share ideas of hair.

I think your concerns are normal. Buuuut your friends will help out more when it's closer to the wedding. Decor diy, prep, packing, shuttling items to n from etc. There's lots they can do it. Maybe just not right now. Your in planning stages they don't plan the wedding of course, you do. They'll be cool though when the time comes.

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Thank you to everyone!

Especially Kelsie and Danielle, that was exactly what I needed to hear.

You had to have known distance was going to be a thing when you chose these MOHs. That being said, ask if they’d be willing to throw you a shower with the help of your more local BMs or mom for example. As for most things, you probably don’t need to ask for too much support from others. It really should be you and your spouse making these decisions. You could ask family or close local friends to join you for fun things like dress shopping or food tastings but everyone else you should be able to manage. Otherwise hire a coordinator