Maid of Honor Drama

I suggest not rushing into a decision. Personally, I think you should choose whoever you feel the closest to, regardless of who can do the MOH duties the best. Maybe take a month or two to consider it before you make a decision? Otherwise, are you opposed to having two MOHs?

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I’m not opposed to two, but when I mentioned the idea of two to my friend she said that it defeats the whole purpose. It’s like she’s obsessed with the being the “special” one out of the group, it’s annoying.

I was maid of honor in my brother's wedding and I signed as a witness, but that's just because the officiant handed it to me to sign. I don't think my brother or his wife really cared who signed. I know I was one of the people who told you that you shouldn't pick someone based on what they can do for you and I still stand by that. You obviously know your sister best, but is it possible that she is just telling you it wouldn't bother her because she doesn't want you to feel obligated to ask her? I would go with your gut when making this choice.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I’ve asked her multiple times and told her she can be honesty so i don’t think she’s lying.

View Quoted Comment That is frustrating! I can certainly understand your concern. Also, since you said she was trying to persuade you to not have 2 MOHs, keep in mind that your friend (or sister or anyone other than you and your fiance) doesn't get to make your wedding decisions for you. Regardless of who you choose as your MOH, it is your wedding, and the decisions are yours on everything, from who you select to be in your wedding party (and whether or not you want 2 MOHs), to what dress you wear, to the bridesmaids dress colors, etc. Maybe have a conversation with your friend if she continues to pressure you on your decisions? She might not realize how it's coming across to you.

You could also skip having MOHs ! sounds like that friend is kind of acting entitled.

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I think for your situation maybe skip. I am not trying to sound harsh but I would ask you if you want a MOH that will do some duties you expect? Sounds to me a part of the reason you are questioning your sister is because she has a lot going on and won't live up to your expectations of an MOH. I think your friend would be good and if anything I would talk to her in advance without mentioning what she says that you want her to work well with the other bm's and to not get so into things. Maybe it is best you do not choose any of them because if you are concerned about your friends attitude then she may come off wrong to the other members. I know my friend for her wedding just had her sister and her niece as a flower girl even though she had been bridesmaid many of times because she did not want any drama. One friend had no bridal party at all. You need to do what is best for you. Like a pp said do not worry about what someone can do for you rather you make the best choice for you.

I would just have bridesmaids and no MOH. you can still delegate things to different bridesmaids without pressure on one person. Just an idea

Honestly you don't even have to have a wedding party, MOH or bridesmaids. Before covid we did and there was drama, and when we married during covid we had no wedding party on my side and 2 groomsmen for him and it was a lot less stressful

I would either go with your sister or skip having one altogether. While the MOH usually does sign the license, your friend still shouldn’t make it out to be a bigger deal than it is.

So my fiancé struggled picking his best man. He had to chose between his brother or my brother. Your maid of honor/ best man have a lot responsibility regardless what people say. They should also be very important to you. In the end he chose my brother because they spent more time together and he knew he would commit and take on the duties. He was afraid he would upset his brother, but they just weren’t as close anymore. Of course my brother was a little cocky about it, but he is just excited and has done a great job so far. Your friend may not realize how she is coming off. The premature excitement may be getting the best of her. Honestly she sounds like she will take on the responsibility with pride.

You choose someone who will mentally support you. You you love, honor and trust. The MOH has duties to support you on your day. She and the other BMs work together to plan Bridal Showers and Bach party. She should not be a “work horse” to get things done and make decisions. The MOH should be the point person who helps keep the day of in order.


Most MOH and Best Men turn out to be the witnesses, it just works that way.

I commented on the other post and will again insist on your sister. I think your sister said what she did because she didn’t want to pressure you and wanted you to make the choice freely on your own, which is the right thing of her to do. Considering your friend has already annoyed you about MOH duties, I suspect she will get on your nerves more if you make her MOH.

I would either have no MOH or make them both MOHs

Agree with a PP who said if your friend is being annoying now it will likely only get worse. Pretty much everyone I know who has a sister has picked the sister for MOH i stead of a friend so if that offends your friend she has to just get over it. The MOH is normally in charge of the planning for events like the shower and bachelorette but other than that, theres nothing too important to do. Just pick who you feel closest to

I agree, definitely just give it some time and let things fall into place! It will work out or just ask both to be a MOH or maybe don't have one if it adds stress. And I guess I am not a traditional bride, but I don't think anyone in the bridal party should be overly responsible for anything... I picked girls who would help love and support me during this time and feel they shouldn't feel obligated to pay tons of money or put pressure on the MOH to plan everything. I helped in every aspect of my planning of special events and helped pay. Unless they outright want to, your MOH or BMs dont have to have all those expectations. Best of luck!

Usually the MOH and BM sign he marriage cert -they are the official witnesses. I think you’re being too hard on her when she seems to be excited for you and wants your license to look pretty.

My sister, who is in college and also relatively busy, is also my MOH. I only have one other BM, my FSIL. In the beginning, my sister kept insisting she wanted to be treated more special than my FSIL because she is MOH and my sister and sometimes still wants to attend things that she just can't (like my dress alterations, I can only bring one person with me and I chose my mom) just so she can say she is MOH. I find it silly and slightly irritating but I just ignore her when she makes comments like that, because when it comes to delegating responsibilities, I think I choose based on everyone strengths, and since there are only two of them, they are both putting in a lot more work than if I had chosen a bigger bridal party. So I think you should choose the MOH you actually want standing next to you on your wedding day, and if you need help with planning, DIYing, whatever, delegate accordingly.

It sounds to me like your best friend is just excited for you and wants to be there for you. Maybe take some time to think about who you really want there for you. She doesn’t have to do anything but it’s very nice that she is already offering to help!