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Devoted September 2019

Maid of honor drama.... Help!

Rachael, on June 10, 2019 at 3:45 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4

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Long story short our wedding colors are deep purple and gray. I have two bridesmaids and one maid of honor. My girls will be wearing deep purple and the groomsmen will be wearing gray... simple I thought. I let my girls choose the style of their dresses as long as they were long. I told them I want them to fee comfortable and I know everyone has different body types. My maid of honor decided she would rather wear gray. I know some people do have their maid of honor in another color if they have a big bridal party. I don’t but I understand her feeling more comfortable in gray. I said ok my future mother in law mentioned that it might look best with everyone in the same color. Of course my maid of honor still picked the gray dress. It didn’t bother me I just want everyone to be happy and comfortable on the day. Skip ahead she sent me a picture of bright purple ankle boots she wanted to wear as the shoes to go with the dress. All the other girls are in silver high heals. I said very nicely they are nice but I think everyone should match. So out of no where she freaked out and brought up the dress saying does she need to exchange it and I should have told her the day she picked it. I said I just wanted everyone to be happy and comfortable. She then didn’t talk to me for a month so I sent a nice text asking if her dress fits ok and if she needs and alterations. She sent and text back saying it’s fine but I’m going to exchange it for purple. Trying to bring it all back up again. I said ok and then moved on to another subject about her sisters new puppy. She never replied to me. I need to add I have know her since I was born and we are two weeks apart in age. We have been friends for years. I added my engagement photos to social media and she won’t like any of my photos or even really talk to me. I’m so lost with what is going on. She is supposed to be my maid of honor but is acting like she hates me. Sorry for the long rant and probably run on sentences. I’m trying to write this while my baby is asleep. What should I do? This has all started up because I suggested different shoes.

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Rachael, on June 10, 2019 at 12:51 PM

Devoted May 2021
Melissa · on June 10, 2019 at 7:14 AM
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Does she happen to have anything personal going on in her life that she maybe isn’t sharing with you? That may be a possibility which does not excuse her behavior. I personally think if she can’t get on board with being apart of the wedding, can’t support you in the best way possible then she should politely back out. I personally think you should stand your ground on what you want for your wedding. She needs to understand it’s your wedding not hers. I do think something is going on personally within her that is holding her back from being happy for you though so might be something to think about.
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Master 0000
Judith · on June 10, 2019 at 8:12 AM
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Has someone else, like your mom , FMIL, or a friend, made some comments on social media that she has seen or heard about, about her insisting on wearing grey when she "should" be in purple? Or opened their big mouth and started saying it, so she heard, and thinks you have been talking behind her back, when really it is your someone in the families? She sounds hurt, not angry. There is actually no need whatsoever for all women in a bridal party to dress in one color. And often, MOH will dress differently from BM. Colors usually complement each other, that is all.
Shoes need not match . But they should be of the same formality as the dresses. If she wanted silver grey heels to wear while other wore metallic silver, and each looked nice with the dress the particular woman wore, that should be fine. But booties are not of the same formality, so you are fine to insist she not necessarily exactly match, but get very similar ones, so one does not stand out. Let just the dress be different.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 10, 2019 at 12:14 PM
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Ughhhhhh sometimes people forget it isn't their own wedding. I let my own bridal party choose and I've been flexible. But at same time I def have shot down some of their dress ideas due to it not being right color or too sparkly or whatever. So you also have to be able to stand your ground with them.
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Devoted September 2019
Rachael · on June 10, 2019 at 12:51 PM
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Thank you everyone for your help and opinions. I let her choose the gray dress and never said anything about it. The only time it was mentioned was by my future mother in law. She said it would look better if everyone was in purple. That was mentioned on the day everyone was picking out dresses. Yes I do prefer them to all be in the same color but she wanted gray and said she would be happier in that color. I said ok and that was the end of that. I didn’t like the shoes she picked they for sure were not bridal at all. I said it nicely then the whole dress thing was brought up by her and now she is very upset. 3 more months and the wedding day will be here. Soon she won’t have to worry about the dress anymore.
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