Maid of honor backing out

I'm in a wedding party right now where most of us are out of state from the bride. and one of the bridesmaids in that party made it clear she's an essential worker and although she has every intention of attending the events and stuff, it just might not actually happen come time because.. everything is very uncertain at the moment. honestly no one blamed her for saying it because she pretty much said what everyone was thinking - that things are so uncertain nothing is a guarantee at this point. and the bride said if any of us feel uncomfortable due to covid then we don't need to come, given that we have to travel to her.

with that being said, i can see how you're hurt but i guess she probably just decided that things were too uncertain and maybe that in her mind the possibility of it being more risky than not was too great for her.

We have family in AU. It seems AU and NZ have been two of the most strict countries regarding international travel (and, the good news for them is their current cases are nearly zero). Our family members were traveling internationally on a cruise before Covid-19 hit; they ended up getting stuck without any countries willing to let them dock/disembark. Their 14 day cruise turned into more than 30 (and it's no longer a luxury experience once you're trapped on a ship with supplies running out). They barely made it onto the last flight between the US and AU (they still haven't resumed, 75 days later...), and once they got home they were put in gov't supervised quarantine for 14 days.... It was a disaster, and the sentiment of their countrymen was VERY negative toward those who had been traveling (even though there was never anyone with Covid-19 associated with their cruise). I'm telling you all this because my understanding is that AU and NZ have been VERY anti-travel, so it just may seem like too much of a risk for her whether you postpone or not. (In addition to huge additional travel expenses, our family members also lost 5+ weeks worth of income when their travel was extended and for the quarantine.) I'd try really hard to be accepting of her decision. I highly doubt it's personal toward you.

She said she would attend if you postpone and you know you will need to postpone. I am sorry your wedding planning is frustrating, but I truly don't understand how you could be hurt by her actions. It's fine to be upset about your wedding being postponed, but I wouldn't let this affect your friendship. She is no more at fault for COVID than you are.

Hi Kate! I'm sorry and I understand it's a bummer, but that is some majorly international travel coming up pretty quickly!

I'd try to be empathetic and understand that everyone has to make their own decisions for their health & peace of mind. I know it's tough to hear a firm no from such a close friend but at least she was honest and upfront about it!!

Thinking of you and sending you lots of virtual hugs!!

Even if you got the okay to travel over seas in August no way you have me traveling out of the country. Sorry but when you have parents in the medical field who saw dead bodies going into a refrigerated trailers due to covid.... nope nope this isnt going to just disappear as the numbers are still going up.