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Just Said Yes July 2019

Maid-of-honor Backed Out

Britney, on September 24, 2018 at 4:14 PM Posted in Planning 0 14

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Now my future sister-in-law was my maid of honor and she actually backed out given the how far away my wedding is (I told her we were going to have it by the ocean before I asked her and she said shed be there). Now I just dont know who my maid of honor is going to be. I am not close to anybody on my FH side and I am also not close to anyone on my side either. I dont have friends (I am extremely shy and do not make nor keep friends very easily) I'm quite down about this right now. On top of it she was also suppose to make our cake too but she is no longer doing that either, I already contacted a cake decorator close to our venue but they are currently recovering from the hurricane, but they want to work with us. What should I do? I have some of my moms friends who I am close to but I just dont know if I should ask one of them to he my maid of honor? I did not think I would be in this boat right now. (granted we arent getting married until July of next year but I like to have everything planned ahead of time so I can stay organized)

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Jen, on October 15, 2018 at 11:42 AM

Super October 2018
MrsJackson · on September 24, 2018 at 4:31 PM
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You don't have to have a MOH at all. I wouldn't replace her because it might offend the person you're trying to replace her with. Like she wasn't good enough to be picked in the first place.
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Master August 2017
firstoneat56 · on September 24, 2018 at 4:32 PM
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Your wedding isn't for another 9 months so it's a little early to be choosing your wedding party. I'm not clear from your post as to why your FSIL backed out, is she no longer coming to the wedding? If you don't have someone to be your MOH, then don't have anyone. If you have a close male friend, there's no reason he can't stand up with you.
Regarding the cake, it's also way too early to be worried about it. I'm not sure how a baker doesn't know if they will be up and running in 9 months but go with someone who is all set up and there are no issues. You should not use "friendors" as they often back out. A wedding cake is a huge responsibility and should be left to professionals. If budget is an issue, you can always try a supermarket bakery or a Warehouse club like Costco or Sam's.
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Just Said Yes July 2019
Britney · on September 24, 2018 at 4:33 PM
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I would feel weird not having a MOH but that does make sense. Something we will have to consider.
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Super October 2018
MrsJackson · on September 24, 2018 at 4:34 PM
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I don't think it's weird at all
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Master October 2018
DC Wife 10.27.18 · on September 24, 2018 at 4:37 PM
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Just skip the MOH. I don't have one...or a bridal party for that matter. Its not a requirement. There's nothing weird about it.
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Just Said Yes July 2019
Britney · on September 24, 2018 at 4:37 PM
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I just like to plan ahead of time as I am raising two littles under two, a full time college student and remodeling our house while living in it. my husband works a full time job maintaining large machinery 12+ hours a day and manages an at home business so hes busy 24 hours a day as well. So I am trying to put stuff together as I find time to do it.

She backed out because apparently she doesnt travel for anyone. She said she most likely wont be coming all together (gave an unreasonable excuse as to why) yes my wedding is over 24 hours from both sides of my family and my FH but given the time frame I'd figure she would find a way to make it. But it is what it is. If anything I wont have a MOH and well figure it out.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on September 24, 2018 at 5:55 PM
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You already designated a MOH and she dropped out, you no longer have one. Replacing her would be rude.
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Dedicated May 2019
Christine · on September 24, 2018 at 7:02 PM
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I’m just curious, if she doesn’t travel for anyone why on earth did she except your MOH proposal?
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Devoted November 2021
Rachel · on September 24, 2018 at 7:30 PM
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Honestly, see what you can do about helping her get to the location maybe? Or maybe don't have a bridal party?
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Super December 2019
Jennifer · on September 24, 2018 at 11:07 PM
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You dont need a bridal party but if you would really feel weird not having anyone, why not ask your mom? One of my friend's did that and it was the sweetest thing, in her program she talked about how her mom had been there for her through everything and was her best friend now that she was an adult. It was super sappy and sweet and you could tell her mom was so happy to be the only one standing up with her.
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Super September 2019
Anna · on September 29, 2018 at 7:53 PM
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You don’t have to have a MOH, your mom could be your witness. Or maybe your Mom could be your MOH?
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Just Said Yes June 2020
Michelle · on October 14, 2018 at 1:25 PM
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It's certainly not to earlier to start picking your wedding party nor the cake vendor. It takes a lot if time and effort to plan a good wedding party. The d.j I wanted is booked for 2019. It's also helpful to pick you wedding party in advance so they can help you with the wedding details and be sure to be there. I'm your sorry your sister in law backed out. Her loss!! I agree with most of the lady's you can do away with the wedding party. Keep a open mind you might make a good friend in the mean time. Best if luck
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VIP June 2019
Cheryl&rock · on October 14, 2018 at 6:10 PM
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I totally agree that it's not too early to be selecting your bridal party and cake! Considering the distance of your wedding, sooner than later so they have time to make arrangements. It takes time to plan a wedding and you certainly have your hands full already.
Are there other people in your bridal party other than the MOH position? Have you made arrangements for your venue yet? If not, is there anywhere closer to both sides that you may consider so everyone can make the trip and you still have the visual you want?
I wish you the best in your planning. Hang in there!
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VIP July 2018
Jen · on October 15, 2018 at 11:42 AM
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I didn't have a wedding party and everything turned out just fine! It really made things a lot easier for us and our friends were thrilled to just attend the wedding as friends :-)
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