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Devoted September 2016

Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor

Maggie , on March 20, 2016 at 12:28 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16

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I am new here, but have reading peoples posts on and off lately. :-)

I was talking to a friend about who is going to be standing up with us and she mentioned that since my sister-in-law(brothers wife) is a BM and my best friend from college is my MOH(not married), that instead of having my sister-in-law as a BM, she should really be a Matron of Honor, since she is married. I asked my sister-in-law if she is okay with this title, she said she would love to give a speech but would rather not be called Matron of Honor(makes her feel old). I respect that and don't mind keeping her as a BM.

I told my friend what my sister-in-law said about it and she said that it would confuse people.

I honestly don't think people will even think about it. I am sure there have been other weddings where BMs were married.

Just wondering if any of you have a similar situation? If you think I should change it or keep it as it is?

Thanks!

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16 Comments

Latest activity by MrsMelissaP, on March 20, 2016 at 6:13 PM

Master April 2017
Sarah · on March 20, 2016 at 12:29 PM
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She doesn't have to be Matron of Honor just because she is married. She can still be a "bridesmaid".
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Expert October 2018
Nicorette · on March 20, 2016 at 12:34 PM
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Agreed SarahKat
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VIP September 2016
GrumpyCatRebecca · on March 20, 2016 at 12:35 PM
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No offense, but I think you're over thinking it. I wouldn't worry about the titles too much. And if a bridesmaid wants to make a speech or toast there's not reason why she can't just because she's not the maid or matron on honor.
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Master December 2017
Mrswelch · on March 20, 2016 at 12:56 PM
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One of a closest friends that I will be asking to be a BM is married. They don't have to be a Matron of Honor because they're married. And like Rebecca said, a BM can definitely give a speech. Don't over think it!
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Master September 2016
mrjonesandme · on March 20, 2016 at 1:19 PM
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Yea...no one is going to be confused. She doesn't need to be the matron of honor....that line of thinking is weird.
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Devoted September 2016
Maggie · on March 20, 2016 at 1:23 PM
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Ok thanks guys! I'm totally fine keeping it the way it is. So that helps!
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Master September 2015
Reggie · on March 20, 2016 at 1:24 PM
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Matron of honor isn't just any BM who is married. Holy cow, then in BPs where most/all are married they would all my MOHs! MOH (maid or matron) is just your closest friend/relative who you want to honor by giving the special title. If you are super close to your FSIL then it would make sense but if not them BM is the way to go (esp since she said she doesn't want to be MOH).
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Expert October 2016
Catie · on March 20, 2016 at 1:26 PM
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Two of my bridesmaids are married. It doesnt matter.
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Devoted September 2016
Maggie · on March 20, 2016 at 1:32 PM
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She is my brothers wife, and I am close to her. But she is just fine with being a BM, which is fine with me. I think I read somewhere that that used to be important years and years ago, but it isn't so much in modern times.
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Master September 2015
Reggie · on March 20, 2016 at 1:33 PM
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My SIL was a BM and even if she had been married there is no way I would have made her a MOH. Heck, looking back I shouldn't have made her a BM but that's another story.
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VIP September 2016
ChocolatierKT · on March 20, 2016 at 1:51 PM
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My sister is married but I don't like how matron of honor sounds so she is maid of honor. Bridesmaids are single or married. The MOH or MatronOH is the top person in your party so to speak. ETA hit submit too soon
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VIP May 2016
Monee_Darnel · on March 20, 2016 at 1:54 PM
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I'm confused by that entire thought process. I have a married BM and she's just that a BM.
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VIP May 2016
LoLo.P · on March 20, 2016 at 2:20 PM
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To put it bluntly it sounds like your friend doesn't know what she's talking about. If you had already asked her to be your MOH then yes, her title would be matron of honor but a bridesmaid can be married, single, anything. I don't even understand where your friend is coming from. If you had multiple married bm's, they wouldn't all become MOHs. Leave her a bm. (Like it sounds like she wants anyways)
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Dedicated April 2016
Alison · on March 20, 2016 at 2:52 PM
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Your friend is misinformed. You choose your attendants. They are your bridesmaids. Then you choose your attendant of honor. If she is single she's called a maid of honor. If she's married, she's called the matron of honor. The difference between a maid/matron of honor is the same as the difference between the best man and the rest of the groomsmen. Just because someone is married doesn't automatically mean they get that title of honor.
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Master July 2015
annakay511 · on March 20, 2016 at 5:25 PM
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Nearly all of my BMs were married lol. Just because someone is married doesn't automatically make them a Matron of Honor! The MOH title is reserved for your closest friend or relative. If they are married, they're called Matron if not they're called Maid. That's it.
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VIP January 2017
MrsMelissaP · on March 20, 2016 at 6:13 PM
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I would suggest having only one... two causes a lot of issues. Just because she is married doesn't mean she becomes a matron of honor.
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