Lying Ex-Bridesmaid

Next.

Her college graduation was, and it's May6!

Are you kidding me?!?! So she's lying to me saying she has to make her college graduation which is 2 weeks before hand. And the funny thing is she always talks about how she hates liars and hates being lied to, and now she's the one who's lying to me!

I haven't confronted her about any of this, and don't know if I should. But, now I feel like I can't trust her at all. How can I work so closely everyday with someone who I can't even trust? UGHHH.

How rude is that? But it could be a confusion as well. Perhaps ask her about it, you'd be able to tell if she had been lying right away!

I mean it is very rude, but I wouldn't bother bringing it up. You won't gain anything from it. People lie and you have to work with people that lie. It's not uncommon.

That sucks. I would trust her less too.

She could have lied to try and not hurt your feelings or feel embarrassed (maybe she just couldn't afford being a bm)

With my personality, I'd probably say something to her to get her side of the story. "Hey friend, you mentioned you're going to the cabin that weekend but I'm confused because I thought you had graduation)."

Maybe you'll get the truth out of her, maybe you won't but it should help you decide what kind of relationship you want to have with her going forward.

That being said, I wouldn't make a huge thing out of her lie. I'd approach it out of genuine curiosity and even if I didn't like the response, I would keep it to myself since you work with her.

Or you could not bring it up at all to play it safe since it's a coworker

The thing is though we are Childcare teachers so it is just me, her and one other person in a room all day. Our relationship is definitely going to change if I find it this in fact really is a huge lie. It hurts me that someone I have been close with for 2 years would even do this to me.

I would not bring it up. Especially if you work with her every day as closely as you do. I'm sure she will slip up more than she already has, but until then I wouldn't say anything. It is not worth the workplace drama that you have to be at 40 hours a week (assuming that is what you work)

ETA: words

@sanders - I get that your relationship would change if she lied but for the sake of work - its best to keep a professional relationship that's workplace appropriate. You might not hang out with her or confide in her again - but you'll always have to work with her so I'd try to make sure you end in a place where that's possible. You'll be the one looking bad too if you can't be adults in a professional setting, whether she lied or not

Perhaps her family trip is in celebration of her graduation? (I would rather celebrate my graduation with my family than go to my co-workers wedding personally... But then I'm not close with any of them. )

Try to just let it go. I feel like a confrontation here will just cause more hurt for you. You have your answer, she is choosing not to be a part of your wedding and must have her reasons for that.

Let it go and be thankful she dropped out. You don't need drama on your day.

I'm leaning towards not saying anything about it. I will see how it plays out after the wedding because if she is lying I'm sure there will be social media evidence or she will talk about how fun it was or something at work.

So, she may have lied. Maybe she misspoke, maybe you caught her in a lie.

Regardless of her reasons, she no longer feels she can be your bridesmaid; isn't it better she backs out now than no-showing the day of?

Let it go. Bringing it up is just going to cause drama.

Drama doesn't fly with me in the workplace.

Seriously, when two people are going back and forth at work over things, there's a lot of side-eye coming from me. It doesn't matter who's wrong, who's right; it looks bad for both parties, in my opinion.

Keep it professional. Don't say anything about it.

ETA: Also, maybe she'll own up to it on her own, if she is lying. She could explain things to you later on; maybe she isn't sure how to word things yet? You never really know what's going through someone's head or what's going on in their life.

Wow. Don't need someone like that on your special day. Move on. You'll be better off

I don't really care anymore as of now. I just find it annoying. She pretty well screwed herself as she now has to pay for the dress since she signed a contract with the bridal store.

Also people might take this as a lesson to not monogram gifts because now I have gifts with her monogram and can't use them.

Then OP, that's her problem, not yours. She can take care of that when the time comes.

That's your coworker, leave it alone. Be grateful she was weeded out and move on. The focus needs to be on you and your future husband's union anyway. Matter of fact, when you see her, don't even act any different. You go bridezilla about music or pictures, or your dress. Minimize your stress, Love.

It is still wrong to lie but maybe she thought you would not understand if she said she could not be in your wedding due to a vacation so she just said graduation because she thought you would be more understanding. There is also the idea we brides have that our wedding day is end-all-be-all and other people don't feel that way. This vacation with her family is honestly more important to her than your wedding and that is OKAY.

It was super rude of her to lie instead of just telling you the truth but I would just reevaluate the friendship and move on with it. The truth would have come out when she posted her graduation pics on social media or came to work talking about it.

I know second graders who lie better. Wish her a fond farewell and feel lucky she exited your bridal party.