Vent session & trying to come up with some ideas.
When FH and I met, he thought and shared with me that his family was fantastic, everyone was close, etc. Since then, a lot of drama has happened in his family, some of which directly involved us but all of which hurt FH. He has two siblings, one of whom we are very close to. His family is incredibly conservative and has really hurt FH's sibling (who we are closest to and who I have become good friends with) after they told them they're gay. The rest of the immediate family is kind enough to me but they don't think he should marry me (a non-religious progressive). Finally, when we decided to have an adults-only wedding (a very normal thing where I'm from, unheard of where he is from), his other sibling lost it, told him they wouldn't be coming unless we made an exception for FH's nephew. When FH shared that we can't make an exception and that I have nieces and nephews as well, his sibling responded with something along the lines of "I don't care about her family, I care about mine, and if you won't let your nephew come, you obviously don't care about mine. Your nephew is blood and blood is all that should matter to you."
We are not close to this sibling as they are never really interested in anything that is not about them, but this seemed to be a final straw for FH. FH and I will not be having bio kids and we already know this. We have shared with his family that we intend to adopt and have been met with a few comments about how it's "not the same," etc. FH now feels as though his concerns that his sibling would never really care about our family have been confirmed and he took them off the guest list entirely after this.
FH & his sibling who we are closest to have had a rough year with his family and honestly he is becoming more aware of the fact that blood isn't everything. He is starting to realize that our support system will likely consist more of my family and our friends and I know this is a hard time for him.
I am trying to come up with something special that I can give him/do for him on the wedding day to remind him of how loved he is/we are by the people who support us on the daily. Originally I was going to make a scrapbook type thing with photos of him with his family members & friends who ARE supportive, as well as letters from them for his wedding day. Well, evidently he has avoided the camera too much with friends and no one can find childhood pictures because his parents are moving right now. I've considered cutting the photos and just doing letters but I'm undecided.
Sorry this post has been jumbled, it's just been a rough time lately with this stuff!
