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Devoted December 2019

Low key upset over his bachelor party

Jocelyn, on November 17, 2019 at 10:19 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 22

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Talk some sense into me before I flip out on him when he wakes up! My fiancé had his bachelor party last night. It was a low key kind of party. His 3 pals took him to see the heat play in Miami and then he told me after the game they were hitting a bar for drinks. Well they decided to hit up a club and he returned home drunk at 4:30am. What gets me boiling is that he’s older than me by 4 years and I’m still in my early/mid 20. We have never gone to a club because he repeatedly tells me he’s done with them since he did it all through his younger 20. But now this is the second time he hits the club with friends and not me. I was told they were just going to a bar for drinks because he won a basketball and had to lug it around since he took the train. Idk I feel like he should keep the same energy he tells me about not going to clubs when he goes out. We have never done anything remotely that made us stay out till 4am. Idk I’m on the verge to calling him out. I think I’m also upset at the fact that he went to a club that I haven’t gone to and have always wanted to go to but since we don’t do clubs I’ve never been able to experience it.My maid of honor says give him a pass but my bachelorette was a trip to Disney not even close to going out to a club. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I want to go to a club! I like to dance, get cute and have drink but it’s not his scene unless he’s with his boys. Talk me down because I’m always 100 honest on how I feel and I don’t think he wants to hear what I have to say. He knows I’m a little upset because he woke me up at 4:30 when I have to work 8-8 today.

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Latest activity by Ashley, on November 19, 2019 at 7:57 PM

Expert September 2020
Marcia · on November 17, 2019 at 10:23 AM
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Get some girlfriends together and hit the clubs you want to visit.

Bachelor parties are for fun. He could have done MUCH worse than going to a club. I say give him a pass.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on November 17, 2019 at 10:28 AM
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Why didn’t you go to a club for your bachelorette if that’s what you want to do? I don’t know if you can really fault him for a decision that was clearly made last minute in the moment. There are plenty of things I only do with my girl friends because H just isn’t interested in them. Also, unless he actually specifically woke you up, I doubt he meant to wake you. I also don’t think his age is relevant- we have friends in their late 30s who still regularly go to bars and clubs and friends in their early 20s who never go to clubs and bars.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on November 17, 2019 at 10:34 AM
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It’s not his fault you didn’t go to the club. You could have done whatever you wanted for your bachelorette. I honestly don’t see the big deal.
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Devoted December 2019
Jocelyn · on November 17, 2019 at 10:35 AM
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I referenced the age gap because HE tells me he’s older and did the club scene already. Not to generalize people who are older because I know people who always go out. He tells me been there done that and doesn’t want to. But clearly does when he’s with his boys and I told him the first time It happened I wasn’t happy he was at a club when I’ve asked him to go and he’s like no I don’t like them anymore. So for him to have gone last night I’m like what? Oh he woke me up on purpose to chit chat and then tell me they hit the club And his buddy got beyond drunk. So of course I couldn’t go back to sleep.
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Expert May 2021
Danielle · on November 17, 2019 at 10:37 AM
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You gotta blame yourself here. Sorry. To go to Disney is a huuuuuge leap from a club for a Bachelorette party. You missed a good opportunity for some real fun. He didn't. 😣
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Devoted December 2019
Jocelyn · on November 17, 2019 at 10:37 AM
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I’m not complaining I didn’t go to a club. I’m complaining that he can go with his boys but not with me. I still would love to go once in a while and enjoy the music but he tells me he’s done with it. So I don’t understand how he tells me he doesn’t want to go but go with his boys. I’d like Go out to dance with him and not to have guys try to hit on me and try to dance with me because I wouldn’t do that.
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Devoted December 2019
Jocelyn · on November 17, 2019 at 10:38 AM
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Again I’m not complaining I missed out,I’m upset he can tell me no but goes out with his boys to a club. But can tell me he’s over that scene and is a home body.
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Expert May 2021
Danielle · on November 17, 2019 at 10:41 AM
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I know it's messed up but you should've just gone to club if that's what you wanted to do. Go with your "gut" your intuition next time.
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Super September 2019
Courtney · on November 17, 2019 at 10:44 AM
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I’d probably be disappointed he went considering he refuses to go with you but I don’t think you should start a fight over it. It was his bachelor party and I’m sure his friends played a part in him going to a club if not his usual scene. I’d probably just let him know you were surprised he went to the club and that’s something you would like to do together in the future. If he doesn’t want to I’d just go with my friends.
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Devoted December 2019
Jocelyn · on November 17, 2019 at 10:54 AM
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I have one best friend. I was an army brat and my family moved us down to Florida 3 months shy of me graduating senior year. So I didn't make friends till I met my best friend at work 3 years back. She's in nursing school working two jobs like me and has her own fiancé, so our met ups are lunch once a month if we are lucky. When I would go out in my teenage years to clubs before I turned 21 it was with my older cousins(now not bothering going out anymore) and I was single and didn't mind other guys coming up to me. But now that I'm engaged and about to be married id like to go with him to dance and have a drink.
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Dedicated January 2020
Barbara · on November 17, 2019 at 11:05 AM
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My opinion is give it a day. Then talk to him stating you were surprised that he went to a club but understand it was last minute with the boys. Let him know you really want to go to a club an go dancing with him. Since he didn't refuse them you hope he will be willing to do the same with you. That it's important to you.
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Devoted December 2019
Jocelyn · on November 17, 2019 at 11:13 AM
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Yeah I know I need to explain it to him again on why this upsets me. I'm trying to not burst out upset at him because its frustrating and I cant hide my feelings. He can always tell when something is eating at my mind and sensed it this morning when he texted before falling back to sleep.
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Expert October 2021
Vannesa · on November 17, 2019 at 11:20 AM
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I’d get some of my friends together and go then. You’re still young he has to realize that and if he doesn’t like it then why is he doing it?
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Dedicated January 2020
Barbara · on November 17, 2019 at 12:20 PM
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I use have outbursts when upset but have learned to wait a day be calm gather my thoughts as to how an what I need to say without creating argument.
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Expert November 2021
Jade · on November 17, 2019 at 1:01 PM
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I’m sorry that you’re upset I know it can be frustrating when you feel like your FH does stuff with his friends but won’t do the same thing with you. My FH does this sometimes. I would explain that part to him and ask that maybe you do go out every once in a while so you can get all dressed up and have fun with him at the club!
My opinion is that a bachelor party is a once in a life event, so people might do things they might not normally do. My FH wants to go on a weekend long party, which is soo different for him because he never goes out anymore, but it’s his only bachelor party. I would try not to get too bothered even though I know it’s hard. I also think there’s a lot of things that guys prefer to do with just their guy friends. When we first met, My FH really only went out with his friends, and not me. At first I was a upset because he would never go out with my friends and didn’t really invite me, but then I went out with his friends and I absolutely hated it. he was having so much fun I could see why he didn’t like going out with my friends. He also doesn’t do that scene “anymore” (so he says) but I think guys should get a pass on their bachelor party to an extent!
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Dedicated October 2020
Mary · on November 17, 2019 at 8:37 PM
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If this is literally the worst thing he's ever done, consider yourself fortunate.

I get why you're upset, BUT this was his bachelor party. It doesn't sound like going to the club was something he planned on purpose, but more like "oh hey we're out and we're drunk, let's go to the club". Alcohol makes people do things they don't normally do. Sometimes, the consequences can be horrendous and life changing.

This is not one of those things.
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Super August 2019
Btbride · on November 17, 2019 at 10:19 PM
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Going to clubs with your girlfriends is honestly way more fun anyways 😂 if he doesn’t want to go the club when he’s sober then you don’t have to go with him. It honestly sounds like he still doesn’t prefer to go to clubs, but gets dragged to them when he’s drinking with his friends. It’s not like he refuses to go to the club with you ever but then goes by himself every week. I think you’re searching for reasons to be upset here. I’d cool off and let this one go.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on November 18, 2019 at 8:23 AM
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I can’t figure out what part of this is making you so upset. Are you mad because you didn’t get to go? Because to blame him for the bachelor party his friends planned is totally unfair to him. Or is this a jealousy thing? In which case I suggest you work on before you get married. You don’t get to compare bachelor/bachelorette parties, because they are planned by your friends. And if you had wanted the club scene, you should have made that clear beforehand. So what if his friends drag him to a club. Are you concerned about him cheating or is this an immature anger from being excluded? If neither of them is true, let it go. As far as him waking you up, I always wake up my fiancé if I get home late. We both see it as a sign of respect that he knows I’m home safely. It’s one night of interrupted sleep. Just wait till you have kids!
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Devoted September 2021
Erin · on November 18, 2019 at 10:08 AM
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I understand it’s your frustration but it was also his bachelor party, so i think its a little different than just going to the club on any given day. There’s lots of clubs you can go to in orlando when you go for your bachelorette, go out and have fun with the girls! I wouldnt be too upset with him, just let him know you’re glad he had fun but maybe you guys can celebrate that your soon to be married by going out for a nice dinner and checking out the club you’ve been wanting to go to, tell him it would mean a lot!!
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Expert September 2020
Christine · on November 18, 2019 at 1:47 PM
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This isn't a big deal at all. I'd just organize a girls' night out with your friends and go to a club if you really want to go to one!
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Low key upset over his bachelor party

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