Lost moh

This may be a bit of venting but also looking for opinions or advice. As soon as I got engaged, my childhood best friend has immediately asked to be MOH. Since she had been my friend since childhood, I acceptedand and wanted her to be a part of the wedding regardless. She was mainly excited about planning for bachelorette (great, it's an expected duty anyways). Out of the 22 years that I have known her, she has never been a great planner. Since years, I have always had a gut feeling that she would cancel the plans, it sort of became a "toss the coin" with ths odds of her canceling. She also was asked to be in her sisters wedding as MOH, the sister shortly got engaged a few months after me. She also told one of the groomsmen "I feel bad that I'm not going to be a great MOH because my sister comes first" ( she doesnt know that I know this). So I thought to ask my cousin to also be a MOH (she was already planning everything, including the engagement party and was there for any support). I told my childhood friend that I have asked my cousin to also be MOH for just on case if she becomes overwhelemed (was trying to put it nicely). She got upset/ jelous (she never confronted me about and only expressed to my mom) but attempted to brush this off. Around my birthday, she was going through a break up and I tried to provide support (offering her a place to stay so she can gather her thoughts and create a plan on what to do next, she could have stayed as long as needed). She agreed but then canceled numerous amount of times and then cancelled birthday dinner (would have been just 1hr of her time). We just have not been seeing eye to eye and have not been able to work things out since November. She is upset that I didn't reach out to her after she found a place to live (she blocked me on messenger after expressing how upset I was about inconsistent planning/cancellations/ feeling that our friendship is sort of lacking quality as I felt put last). She has backed out of the wedding, then decided to be in it and now it seems that she officially backed out of the wedding. I only have my family as part of my wedding (2 cousins and an aunt) and they have all already paid for their dresses. I have worked out the colors (originally wanted light, dark, dark and light) but now it looks like the MOH (cousin) will ve the only one in the lighter color. The other cousin (will be 9) so we haven't brought her dress yet. The wedding is in August 2020. My childhood friend still wants to be invited to the wedding, which I offered as an alternative and she agreed to be guest. I'm not quite sure if it would be worth the invite if we stop talking or seeing each other (invitations not being mailed out until June, so there is still time). Although I attempted to handle this as the "big" or in a "mature" way, it still hurts and makes me angry/ upset. I'm not even sure what to do if she changes her mind again and wants to be in the wedding.



Thank you for anyone who took the time to read this.