Lost bridesmaid

I guess the only other consideration would be if she's having financial difficulties, that you could offer to pay for the dress instead. It seems like a very trivial thing to end a friendship over. Although, after that reaction, I can't say I'd make that offer! You'll see a lot of people on here say that a bridesmaid's job is just to show up on your wedding day in a dress of your choosing and stand beside you at the alter. If she's not willing to meet the basic minimum, I'd assume she is not interested in being a bridesmaid.

I think it's really crappy to cut a bridesmaid becuase she can't afford to buy the dress. I would have just bought it for her and this exactly is one of the many reasons I think brides should be responsible for paying for BM dresses.

Her response to you was definitely rude, but you're also not listening to her. You don't' get to spend her money and if you want her to be involved I would just pay for it.

I'm torn. How much were these dresses? I think you agree to purchase a dress for that wedding when you agree to be in that wedding.

I can't imagine kicking my best friend out of my bridal party because she can't afford to purchase the exact dress that I picked out. This is one of the reasons why the majority of brides these days let their bridesmaids choose different styles of dresses in the same fabric and color. I agree with PPs--I'd never put finances or dresses above my relationship with my best friend. With a $200 dress + alterations + the financial contributions to your shower and bachelorette that you're referring to, it sounds like the privilege of standing in your wedding is going cost a lot of money. Obviously she shouldn't have cussed at you, but I do question if your expectations of your bridesmaids are reasonable...

Did you have a discussion with your girls about their budgets and what they were comfortable spending before selecting a dress? $200+ is definitely on the high end, so I can understand why she might have been taken aback or reacted that way if she wasn't consulted about her budget beforehand.

Her not being able to afford to contribute financially to a shower or bachelorette shouldn't interfere with her ability to be in your bridal party, because those parties are optional to begin with.

Agreed! Relationships first, dresses second. I had a bridesmaid who was having difficulty finding the time to commit to the events/shopping deadlines/etc. because of work. She's one of my best friends, so, we talked about it and we decided to take the pressure off of her and just have her come as a guest. What a relief it was for her! Of course I miss having her as a bridesmaid, but I'd rather she feel happy than pressured. Another friend of mine was happy to step in 6 months prior to our nuptials. Additionally, another bridesmaid of mine has had some difficulties with communication. We weren't seeing eye-to-eye on dresses and I decided that I wanted everyone to be comfortable and happy instead of pressuring everybody. I opted to have everyone wear the same color, but different styles. This is working great for our wedding, everyone is happy, and no one feels pressured to conform, commit extra finances, etc. Remember - weddings take a village, and you want to keep your relationships strong!