Losing a family members

We lost my Husband's Grandfather this September and continued with our wedding October 5th. It was difficult, less than month from his passing. We did a memorial chair with his picture and put a jacket on the chair to symbolize him being there. I have seen people do tables off to the side of lost loved ones and even put picture lockets in their bouquet. It is difficult, but I think it's important to remember that they wouldn't want you upset when it's such an important time - they would want you celebrating. It's a hard mindset to get into, but I think that's what helped us. You'll find your thing, but definitely include her in it if you want. She can still be there and be remembered.

I'm so sorry you're going through that! My parents passed when I was 9 and 14 respectively, so I know how hard it is to lose them.

I'm planning to have memorial chairs for them during the ceremony if we have the extra space, to put charms with their pictures on my bouquet so they can still walk me down the aisle, and to have a memorial table with a candle and their pictures (as well as pictures of other loved ones both FW and I have lost) at the reception. I don't plan to do a bouquet toss, so I'll probably also put a vase with water at that table and leave my bouquet there for the night.

My mom passed away several months after I got engaged. She also never knew our wedding date. I immediately got myself into support groups and therapy to help me grieve. There are many events leading up to it that might be jarring, not just the wedding day. Dress shopping, bridal showers, family photos. Everyone is different. You need to do what is best for you on that day and leading up to it. Therapy could help you sort that out and come up with a game plan. My advice is to let yourself feel. If you repress, those emotions will still surface in other ways and maybe not at ideal times or in ways you know how to control. Personally, for the wedding day, I didn't want to do some obvious thing for everyone to see because it made me uncomfortable. I wore a piece of jewelry that I knew was hers. I also got through family photos as fast as possible! The idea of a photographer being like "okay - Dad here, Mom here" was too much for me.

Again, everyone is different. I truly suggest therapy of some sort to help you figure out what is best for you.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It’s NOT fun planning a Wedding without your Mom. I was planning to have a picture of my Mom at the Wedding. However, DH had a Locket made with that picture on one side and “She’s always with you” on the other side.

I was fortunate enough to have already purchased some Wedding items (🎂Topper, Ribbon, Bridal party 🎁 items, etc...) during shopping excursions with her, so she was there in that aspect.

Is there anything of hers that you could use for decor or in some way?

View Quoted Comment I have the silk clothes that she carried everywhere with her so I didn’t really wanna use that but i was gonna put it in her chair for her