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Long rant about postponed wedding..

Madalena, on July 9, 2020 at 9:29 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7

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Hi everyone,

Sorry for the long rant, the past few months have just been such a nightmare I need to get this out there and need some support.
Back in March, following absolutely horrible family drama and fighting with my fiance's dad and brother, we postponed our 4/25 wedding to 9/25. Of course at the time we thought that was plenty of time and the coronavirus situation would be much better. Shortly after postponing my fiance got sick with a stomach problem, but no doctor would physically see him. We went to the ER twice, he lost 30 pounds, and was referred for an endoscopy but the doctor was not scheduling them. FINALLY we found out it was a bacterial infection and inflammation, but the endoscopy is still not until 7/29 and he still hasn't been treated, although he is doing better.We were willing to go ahead with 9/25 however the plans needed to change, but if he is still not all the way better than we can't have it. I feel many of my closest family members have not been understanding at all. My mom and sister are now saying I'm being"unfair to them" because we're not making a decision on the wedding and they need to plan a shower. So that made me pretty angry. My mom also after planning my entire wedding has now just told me they don't care if they lost money and we should just go to the courthouse. So I'm feeling like I have no family support. My aunt and uncle after telling me they won't bring my grandmother to my wedding, want me to come over tomorrow (by myself because my fiance is sick) to open my presents I was supposed to get at my bridal shower. I don't even want the presents anymore and I haven't seen them in months and will have to talk about the wedding. Opening wedding presents for my cancelled wedding by myself will only make me upset.If my fiance wasn't sick I'd be handling the coronavirus stress much better. This time has just been so awful and everyone in my family who had perfect weddings is just not understanding at all.Sorry for the rant! Just needed to get it out.

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7 Comments

Master October 2020
Margaret · on July 9, 2020 at 9:40 AM
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Oh No! I'm so sorry for your FH. Praying he gets better soon and sending you hugs.
Family is often very frustrating. I think you just have to take a deep breath, wait for the Dr's appointment and make whatever decisions you have to make together. Don't worry about other people and their thoughts, this right now is about YOU and you FH (especially his health). And if they don't understand that, then shame on them. It's NOT YOUR FAULT.
Just take one day at a time, visit family but tell them you don't want to open your wedding present with your FH.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 9, 2020 at 10:37 AM
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Ah hope everything is ok with your partner.
That does sound frustrating because it’s as if they’ve just forgotten that he’s sick.
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Super October 2020
Brittany · on July 9, 2020 at 1:11 PM
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Oh goodness! I am so sorry to hear about FH. I am sending big hugs to you and FH!! I hope he gets better and I hope that you both are okay health-wise! If the plans need to change because of everything that's very understandable!! I get the whole other people who have had their perfect wedding while we are planning during a pandemic don't get it and its not fun. Have you told them that you are not wanting to? That you would rather focus on FH and his health? This is not your fault and this is not on you to make everyone else happy. You do what you feel is good for you both and you have my support with whatever you want to do! I hope it gets better and you can still have what you would like to do!!
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on July 9, 2020 at 1:45 PM
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I'm so sorry Madalena - that's a lot to handle at one time! I really hope your fiancé can get the care he needs soon and start getting better soon. ❤️
Keeping venting it out as much as you need and make sure to spend some time to taking care of yourself as well! Figure out what you want to do, and how your closest friends and family can help you with those plans. Family can definitely be really frustrating, but if you and your fiancé get on the same page about your plans you can *kindly but firmly* handle them together!
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Savvy April 2024
Apeal127 · on July 9, 2020 at 2:44 PM
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I’m so sorry your family is being so unfair. The stress of the pandemic AND having your fiancé sick? That’s a lot to deal with at once, let alone trying to make a wedding happen. Take it one day at a time, choose the date and time that works for you and your fiancé. The day is about YOU TWO, don’t forget that. If it comes down to it just being you and him, your officiant, photographer, and the people in your life who ARENT being awful about it all, so be it. If they can’t support you when times are tough, they don’t deserve to be there on what should be the best day of your life.
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Devoted October 2021
Fany · on July 13, 2020 at 1:13 AM
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Sending you prayers and wishing your FH'S health to improve further. It's disappointing about the wedding and COVID but I think you should consider a courthouse wedding if your state still has strict laws with social distancing, masks and guest counts when September arrives. I recommend you consider doing a virtual bridal shower. You should still thank those who bought you gifts.
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Expert September 2020
· on July 13, 2020 at 2:36 AM
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It sounds like several people need to back off here. Sounds like you and your FH are dealing with a lot and you should definitely put your foot down and say that to them. Try to ignore everyone else’s opinions, trust me I know thats easier said than done
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